


Static Prevails

by wlve



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: 90s, Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2018-12-30 00:15:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 20,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12096516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wlve/pseuds/wlve
Summary: Beta-ed by @tertiarysqueeze on tumblr. Thanks Ezra!Laura thought she only needed Carmilla's help with her French homework. Little does she know, Betty's antics are about to land her in the deepest hole she's ever had to dig herself out of. 90s French tutor au with a twist.





	1. Disorientation

Grey clouds crawl over the sky, leaving a shadow over Carmilla’s home. It's a nicely sized two story brick house built on a hill just on the outskirts of the busy town. A small breeze that smells like grass passes by almost in slow motion, the rustling leaves making a crunching sound as they hit objects in their path. Carmilla and her mother are in a heated discussion.

“I've been skating since I was like eight, stop being such a hard-ass.” Carmilla says staring up at her mother, kicking her shoe against the porch step in front of her, and flexing her grip on her chipping skateboard.

“I am not being a ‘hard-ass’, Carmilla, I'm allowed to care about your safety. Riding it to school is not allowed and that’s that.” Carmilla’s mom says. 

With her mother standing at the top of the small porch, she is finally at eye-level with Carmilla, her short almost-five foot stature suddenly more intimidating. Now Carmilla gets to feel her mother’s spit fly at her face as she yells about things that don’t matter to her. Her mother's drifting breath swirls past Carmilla’s face, leaving a lingering scent of mouthwash and perfume in its wake among the fall air. Carmilla sighs in defeat. “If I can’t go to school on my board, we better hurry. We’re going to be late, mother.”

“I figured you’d be used to being late by now.” Carmilla’s mother replies. 

Carmilla watches her mom turn around and go inside. She comes back with her keys, slamming the white screen door behind her. Carmilla, following, holds her skateboard closer to her side.

Carmilla sits, skateboard in her lap, in the leather clad passenger seat of her mom’s small black car. Looking out of the window, she wishes that the radio wasn’t busted so that there was more than just tense silence between them. Carmilla is acutely aware of her mother's long acrylic nails tapping her steering wheel and the sound of wheels speeding down asphalt.

\------

Laura is in her bathroom, a cramped white walled room that smells like hair spray. Laura hears knocking on the door.

“Laura, dear. Please get out of the bathroom and get in the truck! We’re going to be late!” Sherman Hollis yells through the bathroom door.

“Dad, you do realize that I have to be at school by eight, right?” Laura replies.

“Yes! I am well aware!” Laura’s dad replies.

Laura cracks open the door so that her dad stops yelling. Revealed is Laura, with half a head of curls and a focused hand attempting to complete the puzzle with a curling iron. “And you realize that we have half an hour to get there, and it’s like a five minute drive?” Laura says, focused intently on her task at hand.

“The road gets kind of swamped around eight so it would be safest to go before the rush and avoid being turned into roadkill in the morning traffic. Wouldn’t you agree, Laura? Or do you not fear death? Have I raised you to not fear death-” 

“Dad. Oh my god, okay! We can leave as soon as I finish this.” Laura motions towards her hair. “Don’t have a cow.” Laura says, rolling her eyes

\---

The pair eventually climbed into the old red truck and began the drive to school. Laura was listening to Hole on the radio as Sherman attempted to ignore it, possibly hoping to change the station with his mind.

“You know, honey, listening to this kind of music can put you in a bad headspace.”

\-----

Entering the school is Carmilla’s least favorite part of the day. Mostly because her mother enters alongside her, ruining her chances of pretending that she isn't related to the school guidance counselor.

Her mother enters her office without a word and leaves Carmilla to herself. Finally. Carmilla heads to her locker to put her skateboard inside of it.

Carmilla manages to ram her board in her stupid, tiny locker when she hears a familiar,annoying voice approaching.

“Hey Carmilla! Whats up?” Carmilla turns to see none other than Wilson Kirsch and his friends, the school's most popular dirtbags coming up, arms open, to give her a hug.

“Don’t touch me creeps. I bite.” Carmilla says, tensing up.

“That’s hot, I didn’t know you were into that kind of thing Karnstein.” Kirsch says.

“What, hurting men? I thought that was common knowledge by now, Jockstrap.” Carmilla says, walking away.

In her anger, Carmilla accidentally knocks into what she thinks is a freshman. “Sorry Cupcake. Didn’t see you there.” She goes to help the kid up, and realizes it’s Laura Hollis, the school nuisance. “You better not put this little accident in the school paper, Hollis. I don’t need any more bad rep.” Carmilla leans down to pick up Laura’s dropped papers.

“Yeah, as if I can make ‘Carmilla Karnstein doesn’t look where she’s going in the hallways’ an incriminating headline.” Laura groans as she stands up with Carmilla’s assistance. 

Carmilla straightens the stack of papers in her hand before spotting something, “Wait a second, is this an F I see? Are you, Laura Hollis, failing something? You should put your grades in the paper because that’s an incriminating headline; ‘Perfect girl has a failing grade.’ It’s got a ring to it, right?”

“It’s French and it’s hard. I’m working on it! Just give it back, Carmilla!” Laura pleads, reaching out for her papers.

“I’m fluent. Must suck to be monolingual, huh Hollis?” Carmilla smirks, giving Laura her papers back.

“I’m meeting your mother dearest later and I’m getting a tutor so shut up!” Laura squeezes her papers to her chest with a death grip. “Talk to you later. Oh wait, no I won’t.” Laura laughs, running away. 

“Whatever freakazoid!” Carmilla yells after her. 

\----

“You know, Laura, you’re a very bright student. Honor roll every year, perfect attendance...” Ms. Morgan says.

“I do my best. My dad makes sure I stay on schedule for just about everything.” Laura replies.

“Just about everything. Excluding French, then?” The guidance counselor replies.

“He doesn’t know about the F. I’ve been trying to get it up before he notices. That’s why I need a tutor.” Laura says, shifting in her seat.

“Why not speak to Mr. Le Fanu? He is your teacher after all. If anyone can help you the most it’s him.” Ms. Morgan says.

“I already talked to him and he said he doesn’t have time. I even asked to come in during lunch or after school and he still refused.” Laura says, slumping down. “Do you know any students who can help me?”

For a moment Laura thought Ms. Morgan didn’t hear her. Or was ignoring her. She was going to open her mouth and ask again when-

“Carmilla. You know of her?” Ms. Morgan asks, leaning forward. Laura holds her breath and sighs out with a nod and Morgan continues. “She’s my lovely daughter. She’s fluent in three languages. One of them is some irrelevant dead language so really only two of them count, however she can help you out with your French.”

“Are you sure she’d be okay with that? She just seems like the kind of person who doesn’t feel eager to help anyone.”

Morgan starts, “Oh no she’s going to hate it. But she’ll do it anyway. Because if she doesn’t-”

\---

“You’ll take my skateboard?” Carmilla asks, plopping down on her sofa. “That’s the only thing I have, Mother! I don’t want to be crammed in a tiny space with Laura Hollis in any situation, but in a learning environment with the prissy nerd? That’s torture! Absolutely not!”

“I already made a schedule for you. You’ll meet after school at the library or at her house. She mentioned that her father makes some mean spaghetti, and if that’s true, bring me some,” Carmilla’s mother says, walking to the kitchen. “If I find out you’re skipping your tutor sessions you’ll lose your skateboard. That’s final,” she adds, finally leaving Carmilla alone.

Carmilla slides down the couch until her body is mostly on the floor. “Great, just great.”


	2. Required Reading

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting serious!

At their first tutor session in the library Laura is sitting on a bean bag chair, and Carmilla is pacing up and down the aisles groaning. 

“Stop being such a baby and sit down. I need to figure out this phrase.” Laura taps her pen on the paper she’s laying on her French book in her lap.

“Shut up, cupcake. I have better places to be right now than helping you say, ‘Where is the bathroom?’ in French!” Carmilla shouts.

“Shh! Carmilla we’re in the library!” Laura says, looking around to see if anyone was staring. Carmilla shrugged and came around the corner, finally standing in front of Laura. 

“Nobody’s even here. Just chill for a second okay? I don’t want you to pop a blood vessel or something when I’m the only person around to help you.” Carmilla slowly takes a seat in front of Laura. 

“You know, tutors are supposed to be helpful and actually, you know,” Laura takes a deep breath, “tutor. So far all I’ve learned is that you aren’t going to be of much assistance in an emergency situation.” Laura says, slouching. “And for the record, the phrase was actually, ‘would you like to dance with me?’”

“Really? A pick-up line? Is your teacher trying to show you how to get a boyfriend or something?” Carmilla asks, shaking her head.

“Or something.” Laura smiles.

“Well, what does it say in your book?” Carmilla points to the massive book in Laura’s lap.

“It doesn’t say. This is actually kind of a personal question, it’s not on my sheet.” Laura blushes. “Will you just help me?”

“Veux-tu danser avec moi?” Carmilla says. Laura furrows her brow.

“That’s it? You’ll just tell me? No questions about why it’s personal?”

“Why would I care? Your relationship drama is the least of my concerns. Respecting privacy is something new to you, huh Laura Holmes?

“If you had an overbearing dad like me you'd understand why I am the way I am.” Laura says. “And I do respect people’s privacy. Just not when I'm looking for an answer or a good story.”

“You tend to look for stories a little too often.” Carmilla says.

“I think that you can find a story in everything” Laura replies, smiling.

“That's a little cheesy cupcake.” Carmilla said. ‘But for some reason I believe you.’ Carmilla thought.

\-----

“Hey, Carmilla.” Laura says as she sits next to Carmilla in the guidance office.

“Laura.” Carmilla shows an uncharacteristically wide smile. 

Carmilla’s mom leans forward in her seat and smiles at the two girls in front of her. “So, girls, how did your first tutor session go? Have you learned a lot already, Laura?”

Carmilla looks at Laura with wide eyes. Laura thinks that maybe Carmilla needs her to lie. So she does. “Carmilla was great! She helped me with my homework and I think I've already learned a lot from her. I can't wait to work with her more often.” Laura says. She looks at Carmilla to see if her face changed, and thankfully she looks much more relaxed, which makes Laura feel accomplished.

“Awesome, okay. Do either of you have anything to say? Questions? Carmilla, you’ve been quiet.” Carmilla’s mother looks at Carmilla for a moment.

“I think Laura covered everything. I have to get to Algebra.” Carmilla says, starting to get up.

“You're both dismissed then. Have a good one!”

\-----

“You know, your mom isn't as scary as everyone here makes her out to be. She seems like a nice lady.” Laura says to Carmilla as they leave the guidance office.

Carmilla scoffs. “She can be nice if she wants to. She can also be an uptight asshole. Depends on the day.” 

“How mean could she be? Scale of one to ten.” 

“Scale of one to ten? Seriously? Are you actually a toddler?”

“One being so nice that she randomly bakes you cookies,” This earns a light scoff from Carmilla. Her token response to anything positive. “Ten being that she does something awful like hitting you.”

“She doesn't hit me.” Carmilla says.

“I didn't say she did, it's just for the scale.” Laura says.

“I don't really want to play this game with you.” Carmilla says as she walks faster in an attempt to leave Laura behind.

“What's the worst that could happen?” Laura says, trying to keep up with Carmilla as she darts through the hallway.

Carmilla stops. “Laura, are you looking for a good story right now?” 

Laura shakes her head. “I doubt that your mom being a little mean to you sometimes will make a good story. I'm just trying to get to know you.”

“You're invading my privacy. Remember our talk at the library? You said you invade privacy when you look for good stories or answers. So if it isn't a headline, what are you looking for?” Carmilla crosses her arms and looks at Laura. Laura thinks for a second that Carmilla looks afraid.

“I'm not just a reporter you know. Journalism isn't my entire life.”

“So if I tell you a secret I can trust that you'll keep it?”

“Yes, Carmilla.” Laura says.

“My mom is more than just a little mean to me sometimes. And I’m going to have to ask you to do two things. First, keep it to yourself, and second,” she makes a stern face directed towards Laura, “don’t ask me any questions about it.”

“You can’t just bring it up and then tell me to drop it!” Laura says, nearly grabbing Carmilla’s arm out of frustration, but stopping when she sees her flinch. “You don’t have to be scared of me.”

“I’m not scared of you. This conversation is over. I have to get to class.” Carmilla starts nearly running from Laura.

Laura wonders how someone can be so abrasive all the time. She begins thinking of ways to get to know Carmilla better. Maybe they can hang out with each other outside of tutoring. They could go to the dog park or the movies or-  
“Hey Hollis! You find any juicy stories for the paper?” Betty screams across the hall, ruining Laura’s train of thought and stopping Laura in her tracks. Carmilla is long gone by the time Laura glances in the direction that she was walking in.

“Juicy? Well uh… She- I’m- Nope! No juicy stories anywhere around here!” Laura says, suddenly sweating. She recoils, hoping Betty doesn’t notice.

“You’re sweating.” Betty notices.

Damn it. Laura wishes she could be normal for one time in her entire life.

“Uh. No I’m not. You’re sweating. I have to get to class.” Laura says.

“You’re supposed to be in journalism. And so am I. We don’t even have an actual classroom. We’re fine.” Betty crosses her arms. Then uncrosses them. Each movement makes Laura nervous. “Laura. What’s up?”

“I’m failing French.” Laura hopes Betty doesn’t ask more questions.

“You should work on it. Anyways, let’s go interview the freshman social studies teacher about some useless sports article.” Betty says, shrugging.

Laura sighs in relief as she and Betty walk. She’s glad that Betty is so obtuse for once. If she can’t make it a good story, she leaves it alone. That’s probably why she’s her best friend.

\-----

Laura and Betty finally finished their rounds of interviewing busy teachers and spot Kirsch and Danny talking in the hall. They hide around the corner and listen to their conversation.

“Do you know what would happen if people found out, you freak? Your stupid creepazoid sexual fantasies could get me kicked off the softball team and ruin all of my friendships!” Danny whisper-yells at Kirsch.

“So what, you like boys and girls, Danny! Do you really think the softball team will care? Aren’t they all lesbians anyway? If anything, they’ll elect you captain.” Kirsch says, suppressing smug laughter.

“I’m already captain.” Danny says, pushing Kirsch. “And they’re all straight, just like everyone else at this school.” 

“Except for you.” Kirsch says.

“Except for me. No threesomes though. I don’t trust a third person to keep my secrets.” Danny starts walking away. “I barely even trust you to keep them.”

Laura and Betty look at each other in bewilderment.


	3. Freak OUT!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonding!!!!!!!

After the final bell rings, students start filing out of classrooms.

“Laura. We have to talk about that. Do you think we should put it in the paper?” Betty whispers as they round a corner.

“We can’t talk about it here! Let’s find somewhere empty.” Laura replies.

Betty and Laura find an abandoned language classroom. It’s a small, dingy, room with what looks like a decade’s worth of dust built up on the tables. Laura believes this room was once used to teach English to foreign students. Laura figures she could write a whole article about this room alone. 

“Danny Lawrence, vice president of the summer society and captain of the softball team is-”

“Bisexual.” Laura interrupts.

“Right.” Betty sits on a dusty table. Laura screams on the inside for Betty’s poor, inevitably stained jeans.

“I don’t think we should share this. Betty, think about it. Danny made it clear that she didn’t want anyone to know. We shouldn’t even know.” Laura says. “It’s not fair to either of them to spread this around.”

“Since when did you become the voice of reason Laura? How many times have you written stories that have blown up people’s reps? Anything for a good story, right? This is what the paper has been waiting for!” Betty says. 

Laura shakes her head. “I’m not doing this with you Betty. I’ve let you drag me to dozens of parties, I’ve let you decide what to do when we’re together, no matter how dangerous or overwhelming, and this is the last straw. You aren’t deciding this one for us. If you write this story, my name isn’t going on it.”

“Laura, you’re my best friend. I know you better than I even know myself. I know you want to write this story, and your name is going on it.” Betty says. “Let’s go get ice cream.”

“No.”

“What?” Betty looks incredulously at Laura.

“No. I’m not taking advantage of her sexuality and that’s final. I have to go get tutored for French anyway so I couldn’t go if I wanted to.”

 

As Laura is stomping to the library to meet Carmilla, she finds Lafontaine and Perry sitting on a bench, feeding birds. They look happy.

Lafontaine waves at her and recognizes the anger on her face. “Whoa frosh who contaminated your control samples?”

“Betty wants to write an article for the paper that could ruin some people’s reputations.” Laura sighs. “I know I’ve written some,” Laura pauses, “questionable things in the paper, but they were well deserved. These people haven’t done anything wrong.”

Perry chimes in, “You know, sweetie, Betty has a tendency to do whatever she wants. It’s your job to keep her in track, as awful as it sounds. You’re her conscience.”

“You know it’s bad when Laura is someone’s conscience.” Lafontaine says.

“Lafontaine!” Laura says, nudging them. “I have to go, I can’t keep my tutor waiting because there’s a good chance she won’t wait for me. But this isn’t over. See you later guys.”

“See you Laura!” They say in unison. Laura thinks that’s creepy, but feels flattered nonetheless.

\----

Laura ends up being twelve minutes late exactly to her tutor session. To her surprise, Carmilla is waiting for her. However, she isn’t shocked to see that Carmilla has appeared to have fallen asleep in a bean bag chair. For a second Laura thinks it’s cute. Then she remembers it’s Carmilla, and Carmilla would have a very not cute reaction if she knew someone had called her cute. So she decides to call her cute. “You look cute.”

“You look stressed. Let’s keep pointing out the obvious cupcake, it’ll get us super far.” Carmilla says, and sits up as much as possible in her awfully designed seat. Laura wonders why a chair exists that sucks you into it like a black hole. She doesn’t think they’re even comfortable. She wants answers.

“I am stressed, thank you for noticing. I feel awful.” Laura looks for somewhere to dramatically slump into. She sees only bean bag chairs. She decides to stay standing, and settles for an equally as dramatic shoulder slump punctuated with a very deep breath out.

“Yeah, you do look like crap.” Carmilla says. After about thirty seconds of silence filled with Laura’s expectant expression, Carmilla, deadpanning, asks, “Did you wanna talk about it?”

“Don’t look too enthused to ask.” Laura says.

“Oh don’t worry, I’m not enthused at all. I’m only asking because you clearly want me to, and we probably won’t get anything done until you feel like you’ve shared every last detail of your sorrows with me, so spill.”

“Betty wants to out a kid in the paper.” Laura says.

“Out. As in?” Carmilla looks confused.

“As in out them as being bisexual.” Laura says.

“Who are they?” Carmilla asks.

“I can’t say. I just can’t.” Laura says.

“So the one time I’m interested is the one time you don’t want to say anything? Oh, how life is so unfair.” Carmilla says. She pauses for a second. “Okay, I’m over it. If you’re looking for advice, I say don’t publish it. You apparently really care about this kid, and you don’t want to ruin whatever you have going for you.” 

“I told Betty that if she published it, I don’t want my name on it. I’ve done everything I can do.” Laura says.

“Then what’s the problem?” Carmilla has a look on her face that says, ‘why did you waste my time like this?’

“The problem is that Betty never listens to me.” Laura says, plopping hesitantly onto a bean bag.

“She sounds like a bad friend.” Carmilla says.

“She’s my only friend.” Laura says.

“Oh.”

“Yeah. So I have to live with this. I have to live with her doing whatever she wants while I suffer the consequences alongside her.”

“You should just drop her. No friends beats bad friends.”

“That may work for the stoic loner type like you, but brooding alone isn’t my cup of tea.” Laura says.

“Whatever. You got any French homework I can help you with?” Carmilla asks.

Laura nods, pulls off her backpack, and takes out her homework. “I’ve already gotten some of it done!”

Carmilla takes Laura’s homework and eyes it. “You only got one of these right. Do you even read your book?”

“No, I left it in the bathroom once when I was reading it on the-” Laura stutters, “I mean- I left it in the bathroom. It would work better as a bath mat in my opinion.”

“Laura it’s no wonder you’re failing! When you go home today I want you to catch up on everything you’ve missed. Read the entire book, front to back.” Carmilla says. She looks serious, stone cold expression piercing Laura’s entire being. Laura wonders if this is Carmilla’s way of showing that she cares about her. Laura is afraid to ask.

“Do you…” Laura thinks for a second. “Do you want to get something to eat? Or go somewhere? We can go to the record store and buy that new Pearl Jam album.”

“I think I might like that very much. We may as well go now, since we obviously aren’t getting anything done here today.” Carmilla pushes herself up, and offers a hand to Laura, who wishes beanbags were easier to get out of.

\------

The record store is tacky, for lack of a better word. Or maybe there is a better word; crowded. The record store is too tacky and crowded for Laura’s liking. But she knew Carmilla would feel at home here, and that’s why she invited her. Laura is taking Carmilla’s advice to make better friends, but with her own twist. She’s decided to replace Betty with Carmilla.

“So what do you like listening to, cupcake? You don’t seem like a punk rock kind of girl. Maybe some Backstreet Boys? Blink-182?”

“I’m more of a No Doubt kind of girl. My dad doesn’t let me listen to anything besides top 40 so my music taste is relatively tame. Maybe you can show me what you like, you know, broaden my musical horizons. You are my tutor, after all.” Laura says. She tries not to get her hopes up but who is she kidding, she really really wants Carmilla to be her friend. 

“Sure. Why not? You got a record player at your place? I’m a stickler for some classic records. Cassettes are for new age nerds.”

“My dad has one in the garage. I’m sure it still works.” Laura says. Her palms are sweating. Why are her palms sweating? She wipes them on her jeans. 

Carmilla ends up buying a Jimmy Eat World record and the two pack into Carmilla’s black Impala that smells like an old woman’s perfume. “This is my mother’s car, so be gentle with the interior.”

\--------

Laura’s garage is pretty intriguing to Carmilla. Something about the small grey car parked inside, in its own little untouched bubble, sparks a curious feeling. There’s enough dust on it to prove that it isn’t used, and it doesn’t seem totaled. She wonders if maybe the rumors about-

“Found it! Sorry about the mess, my dad and I don’t go in here very often so we never really clean it.” Laura attempts to blow off some dust from the record player, but it’s so thickly packed that nothing happens. Her shoulders slump briefly and she immediately brightens up again when she struggles to lift it up and carry it inside.

“Let me help you sunshine.” Carmilla grabs the phonograph and both girls make it into Laura’s room, about ten feet from the garage. “Your room is small.” Carmilla looks at Laura. “I like it.” 

“My dad was afraid a bigger room would give me too much freedom to have boys running around. Luckily that’s not a problem.” Laura smiles to herself.

“I think boys could still run around here, you just have to be careful.” Carmilla says.

“The room isn’t what’s keeping boys away, Carmilla.” Laura says, expectedly. 

“I promise you aren’t repulsive, as much as I hate to say it. If it isn’t the room keeping them away what could it possibly be?” Carmilla looks perturbed. 

“For someone who is supposedly a genius, you’re kind of bad at picking up on obvious clues.” Laura laughs. 

“What does that mean?” Carmilla asks.

Laura sighs and looks for somewhere for the two to put down the turntable. They opt for Laura’s dresser, after Laura quickly sweeps several nerdy knick knacks to the side to make room for it. Laura sits on her bed and waits for Carmilla to do all of the work setting the record up.

“I think you’ll like Jimmy Eat World. They aren’t super punk as you’d probably expect from me.” 

“No violent screaming about how the world has fucked them over?” Laura asks, leaning forward on her bed. “How tame of you, Carmilla.”

“Tame? No way in frilly hell would I ever be tame. I just happened to think you’d like them.” Carmilla finally finishes the setup of the phonograph, puts the record on it, placing the stylus on top and watches it spin around a few times. She then sits next to Laura on the bed. “You hear that static sound? You can get rid of that pretty well with a nice hydraulic cleaning every now and then, and maybe a new system that isn’t from the seventies. But the music is still good enough.”

“Well do you have a better system?” Laura asks, earning a nod in response. “Well, why don’t we use it instead? Your house is probably nicer than mine because ours is very much stuck in a another time period.”

“My mother wouldn’t appreciate company.” Carmilla says, not making eye contact. Laura wonders when she got used to them making eye contact.

“That’s okay.” Laura says. Carmilla looks up at her. Something soft shows in Carmilla’s expression for a lingering moment as the record pops with static and continues playing the music, which Laura is afraid to admit that she likes. And someone really famous once said that, ‘if something scares you, face it’ or something like that. So she faces it. “I like your music Carmilla.”

“I’m glad you like it. It isn’t my music though, it’s everyone’s music. It’s our music.”

“If this is going to be our song,” Laura says, “I’m going to need the title.”

“This one is called episode IV. It’s my favorite on the album.” Carmilla says. “I’m going to start it over again and I want you to really hear the lyrics.” She gets up and starts over the record, and plops back down on the bed before the first line is spoken. After a few lines in, she grabs Laura’s thigh playfully and mouths, “Listen.”  
“Let's disappear, we'll take a trip of no return to outer space

and swim in pools which keep us warm, cleaned off the sand from off your feet

we'll dance off time to the songs we've never liked

and sing off key thinking it sounds all right.”

The grip on Laura’s thigh softens and Carmilla lets it linger for a second. Then the warmth dissipates as the hand is gone and Carmilla looks expectedly at Laura. “Did you like it?”

“I did. I like that this is our song now.” Laura smiles. “I like spending time with you Carmilla.”

“And I you.” Carmilla says, staring at Laura with an expression Laura can’t seem to pinpoint. It isn’t sad, or angry, or- is it sad? She decides to do what scares her once again. “What are you thinking right now?” 

“You remind me of someone. You’re very pretty, you know that right?” Carmilla says. 

Laura thinks she sees her inch ever so slightly closer to her, or maybe it was the other way around. All she can think about is how their hands are barely an inch away from each other and how suddenly Carmilla’s perfume is the only smell in the room. 

“Who do I remind you of?” Laura asks.

“My ex-girlfriend.” Carmilla says, her hands retreating from their positions into a jumble of energy, picking at the skin around her nail beds.

Laura is taken aback. She wants to reach out to Carmilla and tell her that she doesn't care, that she's gay too, that-

“Laura honey? Are you home?” Sherman’s voice echos through the small house.

“Me and Carm are in my room dad!” Laura yells back in response. Carmilla responds to the nickname with a small smile.

Sherman makes his way to Laura’s bedroom and opens the door- without knocking, Laura would add.

Laura looks to Carmilla when Sherman enters and sees that her smile is gone. She feels special, knowing that smile is reserved for her.

Sherman looks at his record player and laughs. “So you finally decided to pull out the old turntable huh? I've been trying to get you to try it out for a decade! All it took to finally get you to bite was a pretty girl?”

“Dad!” Laura’s entire body is filled with an emotion that can only be described as embarrassment with a side of denial. Serious denial.

“What, am I not pretty enough for you?” Carmilla’s regular smirk is back, and that means so are her seduction eyes.

“That’s not what I meant! I just don't…” Laura trails off as she's interrupted by Sherman’s firm hand on her shoulder.

“I meant nothing by it, just a quip Laura.” His voice calms her down. He pats her on the back and waves to Carmilla. “Carm isn't your full name is it?” 

“Carmilla Karnstein. Nice to meet you.” 

“Ditto, kid. I'll be making spaghetti if you need me.” Sherman leaves and Laura looks at Carmilla. The smile is back.

Laura stands and turns up the volume of the player. “Veux-tu danser avec moi?” Laura had practiced that line in the mirror for longer than she'd like to admit. Originally she had wanted to use it on Danny, but this feels better to her. It's almost natural.

Laura holds a hand out to Carmilla to pull herself up with, and suddenly they're face to face. Carmilla has such smooth alabaster skin even up close. Carmilla asks, “Do you know how to waltz?” Laura shakes her head. Their hands are still intertwined. “Partners are face to face,” Carmilla pulls Laura towards her, “chest to chest,” Carmilla spins Laura in a circle as gracefully as she can, “All that, um, whirling.” Laura stops spinning and the two are stuck in a stand still, both wanting to say something but not wanting to ruin the moment. Laura sees Carmilla’s eyes drift down her face, stare falling on her lips. They both lean in and their noses touch, and it feels more intimate than a kiss. They stay like this for as long as the song plays, and then they separate. Carmilla looks at the alarm clock on Laura’s bedside table and says, “Shit. I’ve got to go. See you later Laura.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my tumblr is @l5j :D


	4. Blame Enough for All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title of this chapter is as long as the chapter itself haha!

Laura can’t stop thinking about last night. It was perfect, and nothing really happened. She runs through the timeline of events for the thirtieth time that morning as she gets dressed for school. Carmilla and her at the record store, pulling the turntable out of the garage, the dancing… Laura’s heart flutters against her chest. She remembers something else. 

You remind me of someone.  
My ex girlfriend.

Laura never told Carmilla that she was a lesbian. Maybe she doesn’t have to anymore. 

Laura puts on an outfit that’s just cute enough to draw some attention from Carmilla, a high-waisted pair of black and white striped capris, her favorite black sneakers, and a black tank top.

Laura meets her dad in his truck. She doesn’t want to think about how long he’d been waiting for her, but he doesn’t seem too bothered as he sings along to I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston.   
Sherman notices that Laura is inside and says, “Buckle up kiddo, and enjoy the sweet music.”

\---------

Carmilla can’t stop thinking about last night. She thinks about how perfect it felt to be so close to Laura. She wonders what was going through Laura’s head after they danced. Her heart flutters at the thought of Laura maybe being- 

No. Carmilla refuses to get her hopes up. Laura’s a friendly girl. Carmilla hopes she didn’t ruin whatever they had going on. She supposes they’re friends, or at least they were, before Carmilla told her she had a girlfriend once and almost kissed her. 

Carmilla grabs her skateboard, waits in the car for her mother, and thinks about how pretty Laura looks when she’s an inch away from her lips.


	5. The Real Betty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We see Betty's true colors. And they aren't hot pink with glitter.

Laura is always early enough to school to hang out with her friends for a good thirty minutes before the first bell. She sees Lafontaine and Perry sitting together talking about god knows what, and makes her way over.

“All I’m saying, Perr, is if you were to cross an armadillo with a lion, it’s the perfect superbeast.” Lafontaine says.

“Humans shouldn’t play god with the animal kingdom and that’s that!” Perry says. 

Lafontaine looks away from Perry and sees Laura. “Hey Laura, can I get your opinion on something very scientific and ground breaking?”

“Forget the lion, cross the armadillo with a turtle and it’s the perfect fully protected land and water animal.” Laura says.

“I just can not stand the both of you sometimes.” Perry sighs.

Laura sits between Lafontaine and Perry and opens her French book. She finally opened it after Carmilla left and realized how much easier French was when she bothered making time to learn the material. She may not even need a tutor, but she’s going to keep that a secret.

About five minutes until first bell, Carmilla and her mother part ways as they walk into the building. She chases Carmilla and says hi.

“You look nice, Cupcake, fancy seeing you here.” Carmilla says, smiling at Laura.

“What a shock that we both go to the same school, weird that I’ve never seen you around until now, huh?” Laura says, laughing. 

The two girls walk down the hall towards Carmilla’s locker. Laura watches Carmilla attempt to fit her skateboard in her locker and says, “You can just keep that in the journalism room. The only people who go in there are me and Betty and both of us are awful at balance sports so you don’t have to worry about it being stolen.” This earns a shrug and Carmilla pulling the board out and giving it to Laura.

“Lead the way. Don’t scrape yourself with the grip, that burn lasts a while.”

\-----

Carmilla thinks the journalism room is amazing. The only things in there are one computer on a desk, a large bookshelf with what looks like hundreds of old newspapers, and an ancient paper shredder. Laura places the skateboard under the desk and hides it with a stack of newspapers. 

“I thought nobody came in here, why bother hiding it?” Carmilla asks.

“I figured you’d feel more secure if you knew it was hidden.” Laura says. 

Before either of them can say anything the girls hear someone walk in. “Hey! Danny, what do you-”

“I can’t believe you would do this to me, Laura!” Danny interrupts, tears streaming down her face. “This team is my whole life! The Summers won’t even talk to me, all they did was hand me this stupid paper.” Danny punctuates this sentence by smacking the newest copy of the paper on the desk. 

Laura picks it up and reads the title out loud. “Summer Sexuality: What is vice president Danny Lawrence hiding from her teammates?” Laura looks at the paper in scrutiny and says, “Danny I didn’t have anything to do with this. I promise.” 

Danny points below the title. “The author is clearly written here: Laura Hollis.” 

Laura shakes her head. “I didn’t write this, Danny. I promise I didn’t.” 

“Then who did? The only people on the paper are you and Betty and you’re the only one who has ever blown anyone up! If you’re going to ruin someone’s life at least have the decency to own up to it. Don’t talk to me again Laura.” Danny storms out of the door, and knocks into a passing freshman with a “watch where you’re going” thrown over her shoulder. When she disappears into the hallway, Laura’s shoulders slump and her face falls deeper than ever before.

“Oh my god, Danny hates me. Danny hates me for something that isn’t my fault. Or was it my fault? Could I have stopped this?”

Carmilla takes Laura by the hand. “Alright just stop all of this before I get queasy. Cupcake, you are ridiculous and headstrong and naive and this Sherlock Holmes Jr. gig is doomed, okay? But unless it was you who wrote this article and ruined this girl’s life, nothing that’s happening right now is your fault.”

“Really?” 

“Yeah.” Carmilla smiles in hopes of making Laura do the same. “Now where is Betty?”

“Um, she usually skips first period to make out with whichever boy she decides to date that week in the janitor’s closet.” Laura says.

“Let’s have a chat with her then.” Carmilla says, and follows Laura out of the door.

\---

Just as Laura expected, when she puts her ear to the closet door she hears the disgusting sound of heterosexual kissing. “Gross. What do we do, should we knock?”

Carmilla opts for twisting the door handle. It’s locked. They hear a deep voice say, “Hello? Betts I think someone's coming in.” followed by Betty’s voice saying, “Hush, Will. The janitor doesn’t use this closet anymore, leaky pipes. Remember?” Carmilla makes a face that Laura can’t place. “Will? Will is in there?” Carmilla knocks on the door, yelling, “Will! Get out of there right now!”

The door to the closet opens half a minute later and Will walks out, his shirt on backwards and lipstick smeared on his mouth. “How did you know I was in here?” Will looks past Carmilla and sees Laura. “Oh, I get it. The school rat ratted me out.” Carmilla pushes Will against the wall, quicker than Laura has ever seen her move before. “Don’t ever say that about her again, you hear me? Never call her a rat or anything like that.” Will nods and Carmilla lets him go.

Betty finally leaves the closet, looking as though nothing had happened, her lipstick pristine and her clothes untouched. Must come with practice. “Will honey, how do you know Carmilla?” Betty asks.

“She’s my sister.”

“Step sister.” Carmilla adds. “Enough of this stupid relationship crap. We’re here for Betty.” This prompts Betty to look behind her and make eye contact with Laura. 

“Oh. Is this about that stupid newspaper article? Who cares?” Betty asks.

“Stupid newspaper article? You begged for me to let you write it and then you still wrote it when I said no. And that’s one thing, but you put my name as the author. I went from the school nuisance to the school rat in a day,” Laura says, getting closer as her face heats up. “You didn’t stop at blowing up Danny’s reputation, you had to throw me under the bus too! And for what reason? I thought you cared about the paper!”

“I care about the press passes to all of the football games and getting out of class. I also love excitement, and Danny being outed is exciting. She’s terrifying though. I don’t fuck with terrifying,” Betty glances at Carmilla and says to Laura, “clearly you do, so I don’t see why you’re mad.” 

Carmilla looks at Betty with fire in her eyes. “If you think I’m terrifying now just you wait.” Carmilla leaves Will’s side and grabs Betty by the throat, causing Betty to gasp. Carmilla clearly doesn’t care about the significant height difference between them, Laura thinks. Then Laura remembers how much trouble Carmilla could get into if she goes any further in this situation.

“Carmilla! Let her go.” Laura says, attempting to de-escalate the situation before it gets any more attention. Carmilla looks at Laura and doesn’t release her grip. Laura shakes her head, screaming inside for Carmilla to listen to her. Carmilla sighs and lets go, and Betty coughs. “You guys are freaks.” Betty begins to leave, “and you’ll always be seen as a rat.” Laura grabs Carmilla’s forearm, holding her back.

When Betty is halfway out of the hall, Will looks between Betty and Carmilla and decides to go back into the closet to retrieve his backpack. When he returns he walks towards the pair and looks at Laura. “You aren’t a rat and Betty is an awful kisser. I’m sorry.” He looks at Laura’s hand, now gravitated from Carmilla’s forearm to her hand, and winks at Carmilla as he walks away. Laura thinks siblings are weird.

\--------

Second block is awkward. The science room is dimly lit and expansive. Expansive enough that the tables could have been spread apart with enough room for privacy. However, the tables are all crammed tightly together, to the point where they appear to be more like one giant table than six separate ones. On Laura’s right is a freshman that managed to sign up for a junior chemistry class. On her left is an empty seat that should hold Kirsch in it, and across from her is another empty seat that should hold Danny. The sinking feeling Laura has in her gut grows heavier when attendance is called and she knows exactly why the two are counted absent. She’s grateful that she isn’t crammed against them on today of all days.

\-------

Laura has made it all the way to third block unscathed. She thinks that by tomorrow everything will be forgotten -and then her thoughts are interrupted by her teacher’s voice.

“Laura? The office just called to say you’re wanted in the guidance office. They said you may not be coming back so you’ll need to take your things.”

\----

Walking into Ms. Morgan’s office, Laura had no idea what to expect. Carmilla was already sitting in her chair with her knees tucked up to her chin. Laura has never seen Carmilla look small like this. She reaches out to touch Carmilla’s shoulder but quickly retracts her hand in favor of sitting down in the empty seat beside her. She taps Carmilla’s chair leg with her foot and receives the small smile that only she gets to see, hidden to Carmilla’s mother by the shield of her knees, but Laura can see it plainly, and she can’t help but stare and savor every possible second of that smile.

“Miss Hollis.” Morgan says, ripping Laura’s eyes from Carmilla’s lips. “Do you know why you two are here?” 

Laura thinks for a moment. She thinks about Danny skipping second block. She also thinks about Carmilla nearly getting into a fight. She shakes her head no. Carmilla picks at her nails.

“How are the tutor sessions going? Carmilla was late getting home after your last.”

“Mother I already told you Laura needed extra help with her work.” Morgan kept her eyes locked on Laura and waved for Carmilla to stop speaking.

“Of course, no worries dear, just an observation. That’s not what I’m on about. Answer the question Laura, how are the tutor sessions going?”

Laura says, “They’re going really well. Carmilla is really good at keeping me motivated.”

Morgan leans forward in her chair with a smile and rests her elbows on her desk. “Oh really? Carmilla I just knew you had it in you to be productive for once.” 

“You sound pretty surprised considering you’re the one who set this up in the first place. I thought you had more faith in me than this.” Carmilla is finally letting herself relax, letting her feet hit the floor and scooting her chair closer to Laura’s.

“Not surprised. As I said, I knew you had it in you. I just worried that you wouldn’t, as Laura put it, ‘be very eager to help.’” Morgan says.   
Carmilla rolled her eyes. “You said that, Cupcake?”

Laura straightened her back and applied the most reasonable tone she could to her voice, “To be fair we didn’t know each other too well when I said that, and you were pretty aloof towards me like the same morning that I said that. It seemed right at the time, but now I know I was wrong.”

Morgan nods. “Both of us were wrong.”

Carmilla smirks. “What was that? I didn’t hear you very well, maybe if you repeated it a few times I’ll process it.”

“Hush. That’s the only time I’ll admit it.” Morgan says. 

Laura remembers what Carmilla said to her. 

‘My mother is more than just a little mean to me sometimes.’ 

Laura wonders how Carmilla’s mom could possibly be mean to Carmilla. Laura thinks that's as awful as kicking a puppy.

“Is that all?” Carmilla restlessly shakes her foot, her shoe tapping against Laura’s chair leg. It would bother Laura if it were anyone else. She wonders when Carmilla stopped being a part of everyone else.

“One last thing.” Morgan pulls the school paper out of her desk drawer, causing Laura’s heart to start pounding. Hard. “This article is highly inflammatory, and we feel like it may be a breach of a few student’s privacy. You’re listed as the author.”

Laura opens her mouth to respond and Carmilla puts a hand on Laura’s knee prompting her to show restraint. “Laura didn’t write that article. Betty did and she put Laura’s name on it. It wasn’t Laura’s idea whatsoever.”

“Betty - Spielsdorf?” Morgan asks. 

Laura nods. “Betty knew she’d get a lot of backlash for writing the story so she put down my name. She wanted to watch the drama play out but she didn’t want to get her own hands dirty so she let me take the fall. Danny came to me this morning and she was really upset, and she didn’t show up to second block. I think she’s avoiding me and she doesn’t believe that I didn’t write it.”

“Laura you’re free to go. Carmilla, hold back for a minute.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my tumblr is @l5j :)


	6. Mommy Dearest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla tries something new!

Laura waits for Carmilla to leave her mom’s office for about ten minutes, when finally the door opens and Carmilla comes out.

“You waited for me.” Carmilla says. Carmilla’s stoic expression softens. 

“You act like that’s a surprise.” Laura says, bumping Carmilla’s shoulder with her own. “Why did your mom tell you to stay in there for so long?”

“She was raking me over the coals because I was disrespectful towards her over her fake little apology. She said it embarrassed her.” Carmilla rolls her eyes, which Laura notes are red and watery around the edges. “She said we have to have detailed notes about or tutor sessions with timestamps and everything so I don’t stay out late anymore. She thinks I’m incapable of managing my own time or being responsible. Obligation is like an undersea anchor; impossible to escape.”

“Worried you aren’t living up to expectations, huh?” Laura says, prompting a curious look from Carmilla. “Only child of a massively overprotective dad here? And I didn’t even have to get all Coleridge-y about it.” 

Carmilla and Laura walk to the French classroom, hands occasionally bumping into each other, begging to collide and embrace. As she walks through the door she turns to Carmilla, “Thanks for walking me to class Carm.”

“Thanks for waiting for me to get out.” Carmilla replies, not skipping a beat.

“Any time.” Laura says.

“Any time.” Carmilla repeats.

\--------  
Carmilla is already in the journalism room by the time Laura enters at the end of the day. “Hey Carm. Does your mom expect you to be home early today?”

“We don’t have a tutor session scheduled for today.” Carmilla says.

“That’s not what I asked.” Laura says. “She won’t miss you for a few hours right?”

“She can miss me all she wants. I’m yours.” Carmilla says. She picks up her skateboard from behind the pile of newspapers and leaves with Laura.

\---

Carmilla and Laura are outside of the school, Carmilla following Laura who is aimed at the sketchiest car Carmilla has ever seen. “Is that duct tape?” She asks, pointing at a tire. 

Laura laughs and nods. “Lafontaine said it keeps them from having to buy a new tyre. I think that the inch it loses in size every day tells a different story.”

Carmilla sighs. Lafontaine. That means Carmilla and Laura will have company. She figures she’ll have to grin and bear it. Or at least just bear it. 

“Here Carmilla, I’ll put your thing in the trunk. Watch out for the air conditioner in the floorboard when you get in, Lafontaine has a brand new scheme they’ve cooked up.” Perry says.

“Perry it isn’t a ‘scheme’ it’s a highly classified and awesome science project that’s going to make me and by extension, you, rich!” Lafontaine yells from inside of the car.

\--

Car rides are awkward. Or maybe Laura’s awkward. Or maybe it’s the silence between everyone that’s awkward. Laura can’t decide. She just wants it to be less awkward. “So,” Laura says, getting everyone’s attention, “Carmilla and I really love ice cream.” Carmilla looks at Laura as if to say ‘We do?’ And Laura throws her hand at Carmilla’s thigh. 

Carmilla smiles and says, “We do love ice cream. How about we all get some. On me.”

“We like your friend Laura.” Lafontaine says.

“You’re okay, Professor X.” Carmilla says. Laura laughs quietly but still nudges Carmilla's side, earning an eye roll.

“We’d like her even if she wasn’t buying us anything.” Perry says, giving a pointed look towards Lafontaine.

“Yeah totally.” Lafontaine says.

“I like her too.” Laura says, looking at Carmilla. She sees that smile, and touches it with her thumb before Carmilla can react. Its soft. Laura misses the feeling as soon as she puts her hand back down. Carmilla’s smile turns into a neutral expression as Carmilla leans her head against the window. Carmilla’s upturned face, pointed at the cloudy horizon, accentuated the strength of her jawline. Laura finds Carmilla’s sharp features to be endearing. Laura used to want to have a more chiseled face, but she’s grown to love her soft features. 

As they drive to the ice cream shop, Lafontaine puts in a cassette tape labelled ‘Shoegaze’, and Laura notices that Carmilla suddenly looks as happy here as she does in the record store.

“So, you and Laf have similar tastes in music. How does it feel?” Laura says to Carmilla.

“It’s nice to know at least one other person who doesn’t fall for the mainstream garb. No offense.” Carmilla says, and smiles. Laura smiles back. 

Lafontaine makes an effort to talk over the music as opposed to turning it down, “I’m so against the mainstream that I don’t even pay for it!”

Perry turns down the music to speak, “I buy it for them. Don’t let them fool you.”

Lafontaine drawls as though they’re a seven year old who’s mom just licked her thumb and wiped a piece of dirt off of their cheek with it, “Perr!”

“Lafontaine.” Perry says, mimicking the previous drawl, shutting them up. 

Lafontaine turns the music back up, and the rest of the ride is comfortably quiet, filled with the sound of Pale Saints playing throughout the car, and a collision of hands and knees between Laura and Carmilla as they whisper to each other in their own private conversation.


	7. Memory Lane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A well needed conversation allows our moms to get some things off their chests. :)

Lactose intolerance runs in Laura’s family. Thankfully, her genes either completely dodged that bullet, or her intolerance is so minor that she never notices when it’s acting up. Laura licks her ice cream cone with the satisfaction of knowing it won’t give her gas the same way it does to her dad. The smile on her face is enough to lighten up the whole room.

“Is the ice cream good or are you just always this happy when around sweets?” Carmilla asks, eating her banana split. Laura thinks it’s a pretty frilly order for such a ‘hard core punk rocker’ like Carmilla.

“I’m just glad I’m not lactose intolerant.” Laura says.

“You’re so weird.” Carmilla says, thinking about how Laura being weird is now endearing, as opposed to annoying like she once thought. Amazing how getting to know someone can change your entire perspective. What Carmilla disliked about Laura is now what draws her in, like a moth to a flame, or a fly to one of those gross stringy glue trap things that her grandma hangs from the ceiling of her kitchen that smell like a mix of dust, honey, and poison. Either way, she’s not getting out of this alive. That is assuming she isn’t already dead and living in heaven, sitting across from an angel who definitely doesn’t smell like a glue trap. She guesses glue traps don’t smell like glue traps to flies anyway.

“Yeah, but you like it.” Laura says. 

“That I do.” Carmilla says into her sundae. 

Laura notices Carmilla’s shy gesture, and grabs Carmilla’s spoon and takes a part of her sundae. That gets Carmilla to look up and watch Laura eat her food. “That’s good, I’m surprised you haven’t finished it already.” Laura says around the spoon in her mouth.

“Well you can help me then.” Carmilla slides her sundae to the middle of the table and the girls exchange the spoon between each other, talking about whatever comes to mind until it’s done about fifteen minutes later. Laura and Carmilla both stand up and decide to walk together while Laura throws the container away. They come back to see Lafontaine and Perry talking over a milkshake with two straws. 

They always seem so happy. Laura wants that. She looks over at Carmilla, who has sat back down, one foot on the ground and one foot on the edge of the table. She thinks maybe she could be happy like them. Carmilla smirks at Laura, and slowly turns into the soft smile that Laura always misses when it’s gone. 

“Hey.” Laura says, sitting in front of Carmilla again. 

“Hey.” Carmilla says back. 

“You mean a lot to me.” Laura says before her little bit of impulse control can stop her.

Carmilla reaches her hand towards Laura’s. It’s gentle when Laura takes it in hers across the table. “You mean a lot to me too.” 

Laura sees that Carmilla’s nails are painted dark blue instead of black like she thought. Her nail polish is chipped, maybe due to biting her nails. Laura sees a faint bruise on Carmilla’s knuckles. “Your hands are really pretty Carmilla. How did you get this?” Laura asks, running the thumb of her free hand over Carmilla’s bruise. 

Carmilla considers her surroundings for a moment. “My brother got into a fight he couldn’t win.” 

“Who was he fighting?” Laura asks.

“My mom’s boyfriend. I tried to tell him not to make him mad. He knew what would happen.” Carmilla says, her eyes beginning to shine.

“How did he make him mad?” Laura feels bad for prying but she doesn’t have bad intentions, she tells herself.

“He stole his car. To buy beer.” Carmilla says, bouncing the foot that’s on the ground.

“That’s definitely grounds for a stern talking to.” Laura says.

“Yeah, it is. But Phil doesn’t understand the concept of rationality. He understands pain.”

“His name’s Phil?”

“Logan Philip Farmer. He’s Will’s dad biologically. I swear Phil thinks he’s a god or something, and my mom does everything he asks her to.” Carmilla tenses up at the end of her sentence, lost in thought. 

“What kind of things has he asked her to do?” Laura tightens her grip on Carmilla’s hand, hoping to pull her out of her thoughts.

“Remember when I told you about my ex?” Carmilla asks. Laura nods. “Well she was the first girl I ever loved. The first person I could trust with anything. We told my mom and Phil we were dating over a nice dinner at the Bad Wolf, you know the cafe on main? Well we thought they’d take it better than they did, and Phil told my mom to get rid of Ell. So to appease him she told Ell that I wasn’t who she thought I was. She made me out to be some spineless punk rock mess who did drugs, cheated, and got into fights for no reason. The worst part is that Ell believed her. She lied, and the parts that were true were shown in the worst light. Ell thought me to be some monster so she left.” Carmilla takes a deep breath. 

Laura wonders if Carmilla is afraid to love now. “Have you dated since?” 

“Dated? Not really. I’ve had girls pretend to date me to,” She sighs, “experiment. If you could call it that. There was one that actually liked me. She goes to our school. Elsie. She’s the one who organizes books in the library. I’d say it’s funny that she likes bad girls but I like nerds so I really can’t make fun.” Carmilla says, staring into Laura’s eyes. She thinks there’s something beautiful hiding in her brown irides, behind the gold specks that trail the edge. Something she can only see when Laura looks at her.

“When did you and Elsie break up?” Laura asks.

“After our second tutor session, I wouldn’t say we broke up, it wasn’t serious enough for that.” Carmilla says. “I just didn’t feel a connection. It felt like we had nothing in common besides being lesbians. She hated my music, adventuring, fun, happiness-”

“We get it Carmilla.” Laura laughs. “So what clicks for you? Like a key into a lock?”

“I don’t think I could ever give someone a perfect love like that. I have too many problems to give someone that.”

“Baggage is a part of love I think. We all have monsters, but none of us are monsters. My mom used to tell me that all the time.” Laura says.

“She used to?” Carmilla asks.

“She died when I was twelve.” Laura says it as though she were reading the back of a cereal box, calm and redundant. “She died in a car accident when she was drunk. She killed a little boy in the other car who was on his way to soccer practice. He must have been younger than me at the time. Me and his mom were in the same boat, mourning someone we thought we couldn’t live without. I wish I could meet her and find some closure or something, but my dad and I can’t find her.”

“You’re very strong, you know that?” Carmilla says.

“My dad and I do our best to be strong for each other. To be enough for each other. We work on surviving without her as much as we can. It was a lot harder at first, when her things were still there. Every now and then we’ll clean and find a pair of her shoes, or one of her earrings between the couch cushions. It always hurts, but it doesn’t send me spiraling anymore.”

“It really takes a lot to deal with losing someone, I’d know. You know.”

“Losing Ell was that bad?” Laura asks, playing with Carmilla’s fingers.

“Not Ell. Grieving a breakup and grieving a parent are different, even I know better than to compare those. I lost my dad. So I know where you’re coming from. He was a really great guy, and he didn’t deserve what happened to him.” Carmilla says, less like she were reading the ingredients of some Froot Loops and more like she was trying not to cry. She wishes it were easy to talk about.

Laura watched Carmilla’s face, waiting for her to continue. Carmilla wipes her eyes, not yet crying but definitely on her way if she doesn’t pull herself together, she thinks. “He was a good guy. He had bad friends. Friends that cared more about drugs than their families.” Carmilla says. “He went to his friend’s house one night, to try and break up a fight between his friend and his dealer. My dad never came back. All we got was a note on a napkin written in one of my frilly glitter gel pens that said ‘be home soon.’”

Laura waits a moment to make sure Carmilla is finished. “When did it happen?” Laura asks.

“Is it bad if I don’t remember?” Carmilla asks. Laura shakes her head. “It was long enough ago that Mattie and I had glitter gel pens just laying around the house.” Carmilla’s sentence is punctuated with a small smile, a hint of nostalgia quickly wiped away by a heavier emotion. “I miss him every day. Now all I have is Will, who's not too bad but he’s got that fragile male ego on lock, and my mom and Phil, who both suck at being emotionally supportive or having healthy relationships with children. It’s selfish I know, but I just wish Mattie hadn’t moved away. It’s like she was the only one who understood me, you know?”

“I know I’m just a friend, and I can't make up for a lost parent, but you have me. You have my dad. You can always come to us if you want some support.” Laura says, standing up again. 

“You're not just a friend to me. Thanks for listening to me and talking to me.” Carmilla says.

“Any time.” Laura says. 

“Any time” Carmilla repeats.

“You two ready to go?” Laura asks Lafontaine and Perry, who seem more interested in each other than anything else. That’s kind of how it’s always been with them, Laura thinks.

“Yeah, totally” Perry says, quickly picking up the empty plastic cup and placing it in its designated bin near the trash cans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my tumblr is @l5j!


	8. Long Goodbyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :( its for the best!!

Laura is actually late to school for once. And of course, that’s the day Carmilla is early. Carmilla decides to walk over to Lafontaine and Perry.

“Hey Carmilla, you’re early.” Perry says. 

“My mother had a meeting, so I had to suffer alongside her. I need a car.” Carmilla says.

“You have that thing, why not go to school with it?” Lafontaine says, pointing at Carmilla’s skateboard.

“I hate riding it long distances, longboards are better for that. I ride it to places in town after school and that’s really it.” Carmilla says.

“Can you do any tricks? Like a jump?” Perry asks.

“Jumps are called ollies. I can do that, yes.” Carmilla drops her board and stands on it. She bends her knees and jumps, popping the back end off the ground and flicking her front foot forwards, effectively getting the board off the ground with ease. “It’s a pretty simple trick.”

Carmilla kicks the tail of the board and catches it as it flies up. She leans on the guard rail next to the cement bench Lafontaine and Perry are sitting on. Lafontaine and Perry look like giddy children who just saw an ametreur magician pull a rabbit out of a hat.

Laura’s dad pulls up about five minutes later and Laura runs towards the group. “Carmilla. Hey.” Laura says. Laura thinks Carmilla’s choice of wearing knee high stockings and short shorts on a cold morning aren’t environmentally ideal, and shorts are an odd mix with a baggy windbreaker, but she has a hard time taking her eyes off of her figure. 

“Hey. You’re late.” Carmilla says, bringing Laura’s attention to her face, which is just as enchanting as her pale thighs in contrast to her black clothing.

“My dad thought it was saturday and almost let me oversleep. I was going to let him believe it but I have a final in first.” Laura says. “What have I missed?”

“Carmilla showed us a skateboard trick. An ollie!” Perry says.

“I’ve never seen you do a trick, I feel left out!” Laura says.

Carmilla rolls her eyes and puts her board on the ground and ollies again, but this time with more effort, jumping higher than before. 

“That’s so cool! My mom used to skateboard and she tried teaching me a few times to just stand on it and I never could.” Laura says.

“I could show you some time. We have a tutor session scheduled today actually, unless you really need to stay at the library and study French.” Carmilla says.

“You can just talk to me in French while you show me how to skate. It’s really ho-” Laura stops herself. “It’s really cool.”

Laura takes Carmilla’s skateboard and whispers, “race you!” as she starts running to the journalism room. Lafontaine and Perry consider this an invitation to race as well, and nobody tries to stop them.

\----  
Carmilla won that race. Laura still holds onto the skateboard since Carmilla doesn’t show any want for it back.

Danny is already in the journalism room when the group walk in. 

“Where’s Betty?” Danny asks.

“I haven’t seen her in a while. Are you okay?” Laura asks in return.

“Ms. Morgan and I had a talk. We know you didn’t write the article. Reading it over I realized that you and Betty have very different writing styles, and I have never read “Totally tubular!” in any of your written pieces, but it’s more common than the letter ‘E’ in all of Betty’s. I swear, the fact that she ended up on the east coast instead of the west where she clearly belongs is a cruel fate for all of us.” Danny scoffs at herself. “And I’m sorry Laura, for being such a jerk.”

“Don’t apologize, Danny. If someone outed me in the paper I’d be pissed too. Sexuality is a really personal thing, not something to be used against someone.” Laura says, glancing at Carmilla. “And you really didn’t have to go all detective to figure out that I didn’t write it.” This earns a furrowed brow from Danny and Laura continues, “I know it’s not the same thing as being bi, but I am gay. So outing you while staying in the closet is some twisted form of hypocritical, wouldn’t you think?”

“You’re gay?” Danny and Carmilla ask at the same time. This reminds Laura of Perry and Lafontaine and the same weird flattery sends chills down her spine at the memory. Laura looks past Carmilla and sees Lafontaine and Perry watching silently, seemingly unsurprised.

“Yeah I figured it was obvious, I flirted with you for like all of middle school.” Laura says to Danny. “And why are you surprised?” Laura asks Carmilla.

“What do you mean why am I surprised? And what do you mean you flirted with her?” Carmilla asks, a blush running up her neck and across her cheeks.

“Carmilla we have all seen how you look at Laura you’re both the lesbianest lesbians to ever lesbian.” Lafontaine says. “And we can’t forget the seduction eyes you throw at Laura every time you talk to her.”

“Seduction eyes?” Danny says, voice reaching a new octave, paralleling Whitney Houston hitting a high note on her best day. 

“Are you jealous Xena?” Carmilla asks, blush retreating rapidly.

Laura begins to say, “Okay how about we all settle down-” 

Danny interjects, “I don’t like Laura like that anymore. I’m just protective.”

“Anymore?” Laura asks, vehement in her attempt to get the conversation under control. 

Danny stops in her tracks. “Last year I liked you. I thought you were straight and I decided to get over you. Now it’s too late for me, you have Scrooge Mc Vampire and seduction eyes and I have an article that’ll ruin my reputation forever.”

“Um, you know, it’s not all bad. You may not have Laura romantically, but it’s not like you’re totally alone. We’re all here for you as your friend, even Carmilla here.” Perry says. “Anyway, i’m sure there’s someone at this school who’d love to date a tall, attractive, beautiful girl.”

“Perr?” Lafontaine questions.

“Oh hush you know I’m yours.” Perry says to Lafontaine. “I’m just saying, you’re a great catch, Danny. Nice people do exist and you aren’t totally alone.”

“What happened with Kirsch?” Laura asks.

“He dumped me and told all of his jock friends that I’m a lesbian and that he had no idea until the article. Everyone but you guys thinks I’m a liar, and he got off scot free.” Danny says, staring at her shoes. “I’m transferring out.”

“If that’s what you need, we support you.” Perry says.

“You’re leaving?” Laura asks. 

“I’m sorry. I came here to talk to Betty and see if she had any apologies for ruining my life, and I’m leaving for good after today.”

“Save yourself the trouble, you’re not getting anything out of that asshole.” Carmilla says. 

“Figures.” Danny says.

“We’ll all miss you.” Lafontaine says. “I wish we could have made more time for you this year.”

“I’ll miss you guys too.” Danny opens her arms for a group hug, and everyone files in around her like starving bears who found a picnic basket while roaming a misty forest. Gentle yet with purpose, all but Carmilla wrap their arms around Danny. Laura pulls Carmilla over to the group and each person holds Danny until the first bell rings for class to start.

“Thanks guys. See you around.” Danny says. 

“See you around.” Lafontaine repeats, and everyone looks back at Danny as they exit the journalism room, leaving her alone among the dusty newspapers as she considers how to spend her last day at Silas High.


	9. Cutting Losses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You thought that was goodbye? Nope! :D (also a sleepover!)

After everyone had left Danny to herself, they all went about their days as they usually would. Laura and Carmilla are skipping class, Laura with her camera in hand, and Carmilla holding Laura’s notepad. After exactly two and a half blocks, the fire alarm goes off. 

As students are escorted out of the building, teachers gasp and tell every student to stop where they are and not go any closer. Laura and Carmilla push through the masses and find that the concrete in front of the school has been vandalized. Written in black spray paint, Laura reads aloud, “Betty Spielsdorf is a backstabbing-” Laura gasps, “That is not a nice word!” 

Carmilla scoffs behind her. “Xena just had to make a scene before leaving forever huh?”

“Oh my god, Danny.”

\------

After the incident students began filing back into their classrooms. As Laura and Carmilla walk to the journalism room, the intercom comes on. “Laura Hollis, please come to the guidance office.”

“Oh, crap.” Laura says. “Take these to the journalism room.” Laura gives her things to Carmilla and makes her way to Ms. Morgan’s office. 

Once there, Laura knocks on the door and comes in once prompted. When she closes the door behind her and sits down, Laura says, “Hey, Ms. Morgan. What do you need?”

“This has gone on too long. I thought after my chat with Danny, that everything would be done with, but now she’s gone and gotten us all in trouble with the higher-ups.” Ms. Morgan says. “I’m suspending your contact with my daughter. No more tutor sessions, no more after school anything from this point on.”

Laura leans back in her chair, her heart stopping and her eyes losing focus. “You know I didn’t write the article, Ms. Morgan. I don’t understand. Why are you doing this?” 

“Doing what? In case you haven’t noticed, you put us in this situation yourself by letting little miss ‘backstabber’ go wild and stir up a mess on campus.” Ms. Morgan says.

“You’re acting like it’s my job to keep her in line. I tried to stop her and she didn’t listen.” Laura said.

“If you quit journalism you can continue having contact with Carmilla. If not, then not.” Ms. Morgan says. “Now, go to class.”

Laura stands up and finds that she can’t feel her legs. Anxiety rushes through her stomach and she feels herself go cold. She quickly leaves the room and runs into Carmilla as soon as she comes out of the office. 

“I heard everything.” Carmilla says. “Come with me.” Carmilla leads Laura to the journalism room and closes the door. 

Once the door is closed and locked, Carmilla pulls Laura into a hug. “Mother preys on weakness. Don’t let her get in your head and play with your emotions like that. She will sow dissent. Don’t listen to her.”

“I feel emotionally annihilated.” Laura says, letting her face fall onto Carmilla’s shoulder.

“I told you not to listen to her. Everything she says is a lie.” Carmilla says.

“But what if it isn’t? Everything she says is true. Is it twisted and horrible like some evil total perspective vortex? Yes. But it’s still true. I just wish I had done more to stop this from happening,” Laura says.

Carmilla interrupts, “Okay, okay stop. You’re struggling, okay, and you’re allowed to. Because, Cupcake, the universe is huge and it’s arbitrary and uncaring. You know, one moment you can get sucked into some horrible scheme and the next you can get pulverized by a meteor and, really, in the grand spectrum of things, it’ll mean nothing.”

“If this is your cheering-up speech, it needs a little work.” Laura laughs, the noise hollow.

“I do live with my mother, so, you know, give me a break. The point is, if nothing means anything, then the only thing that means something is what we make. I mean, look at me. I used to be a callous punk who didn’t care about anything, until this prissy, know it all, overachiever that I was totally planning on half-ass tutoring for a month and then forgetting about unraveled all of my plans. Because she sees the good in everyone despite their monsters.” Carmilla smiles, “Even me. And yeah, you are flawed. And struggling, and uncertain, but it is so beautiful the way you try.” Carmilla sees Laura look up from her position in her arms and sees tears brimming in her eyes. “What?” Carmilla asks.

“To hell with anxiety.” Laura whispers as she holds Carmilla’s face and kisses her. Soft, fervent. Laura breaks the kiss with a deep breath, hands tangled in Carmilla’s hair. After a moment, they part, and Laura’s hands drift down to Carmilla’s shoulders.

Laura’s grip on Carmilla’s shoulders is tender. “I don’t want to pretend that what I feel for you is platonic, or that it’s some stupid, frothy thing that doesn’t matter, because it is like the axis that my world turns on. And I don’t care what your mother says or how other people will treat us. We could end up like Danny and our worlds could fall apart but I want us to have something good to hold on to.” Laura’s voice drops to the softest whisper, “I like you. Why shouldn’t that be something good?” 

Carmilla smiles, and leans in for another kiss. 

“It would be such a shame if you were to quit journalism. My mother just wants to protect her image, and she’s projecting her inadequacies as an authority figure onto you. You know that. It has never been your job to decide what Betty does. You weren’t the captain of the journalism club.” Carmilla says.

“President, not captain. The president, Mel, quit like two weeks into the year so she could try and become the president of the Summers because she thought it was cooler. She may pretend to be some confident badass, and don’t get me wrong she totally is, but she’s a nerd at heart. A sensitive nerdy badass feminist with a passion for justice and she loved journalism.” Laura says. “Anyway, after she quit, we were left with nobody to guide us. I took over Mel’s duties as far as production of papers went but I never tried bossing around Betty, as though that would’ve ended well. She takes orders as well as a bag of potato chips.”

“At least Betty’s probably not going to be on the team for much longer.” Carmilla says.

“Oh god you’re right!” Laura says, her head falling into Carmilla’s shoulder in defeat. 

“What’s wrong with that?” Carmilla asks.

“I’ll be the only person in this group after she quits. And that’s if I even can stay on the paper!” Laura says, her voice muffled by the fabric of Carmilla’s black windbreaker.

“You aren’t quitting. Not for me.” Carmilla says. “And that’s not me being self deprecating or anything. It just makes sense. If being with me gets you in trouble or gets in the way of your future, then it’s not worth it. You have such a huge and successful life ahead of you, and if I’m getting in your way,” Carmilla breathes in, “you know.”

“None of this is because of you. Being with you isn’t getting in the way of anything. You haven’t held me back once. It’s not you, it’s the situation. And we’ll get through it. Together. Despite your mother’s intentions. And I will stay on the paper. If we have to hide our relationship from your mom, so be it.”

\---------  
Carmilla told her mother she was at Elsie’s house, and to her surprise her mother didn’t fight her on it. She must be so worried about bringing Carmilla’s older sister, Mattie, home from the airport, that she wasn’t worried about whether she was lying or not.

The two lay perpendicular to each other on Laura’s bed. Carmilla’s head is on Laura’s stomach, while she runs her fingers through Carmilla’s hair. For a moment, Laura thinks Carmilla has fallen asleep. “Carm?” She whispers.

In return, Carmilla groans and rolls over onto her other side, burying her face in Laura’s stomach. “I’m sleeping.” She says, barely audible.

“Well let’s cuddle then, I’m more than just a pillow you know.” Laura says, laughing.

Carmilla sits up long enough for Laura to go from her seated position to a more comfortable position, lying on her side and facing Carmilla. 

“That’s better.” Laura says, pulling Carmilla closer to her. Silently, effortlessly, they find themselves in a tangle of limbs, both dozing off to the sound of each other's breaths, with the low sound of the record player in the corner of the room. Moments like this mean everything to Laura. There are no parents, arguments, responsibilities, or drama. Just Laura. And Carmilla, who probably feels the same way.

Carmilla loves Laura’s room. The yellow walls and the small bed are a foil to her dark grey, abysmal excuse for a bedroom. It’s a nice escape from her self inflicted brood zone, and she finds that it makes for much better naps. Of course, it could have less to do with the ambiance of the room, and more of who the room belongs to. Even when Laura leaves, whether to pee or to get snacks, it always smells like her. It’s a hard smell for Carmilla to put into words, but it’s so comforting. Maybe roses or cherries mixed with honeysuckle and gingerbread cookies. Carmilla loves Laura’s pillow especially, it’s a yellow color similar to Laura’s walls, and she loves to sleep on it almost as much as she loves to sleep on Laura, only the pillow never has to get up to pee. 

Currently, Laura’s pillow is sitting between Carmilla’s knees, a habit picked up from her childhood. Her mother hated how she slouched so often, so she made her do some odd things to fix it, including balancing books on her head, neck exercises, and putting a pillow between her knees when she sleeps. Amazingly, the pillow thing stuck, and so did her bad posture. 

“You know, pillows are for heads, not knees. Also that’s not even your pillow.” Laura says, squeezing Carmilla’s thigh with a gentle shake, hoping to bring Carmilla out of her thoughts.

“It’s my pillow now, cupcake. You’ll have to pry it from my cold dead kneecaps.” Carmilla whispers.

“Ew, why’d you have to say it like that?” Laura laughs. 

“If this pillow makes us get a divorce, I’m getting full custody.” Carmilla says.

“We are both responsible enough to get a fifty fifty, and you know to never blame the divorce on the child.” Laura replies.

The conversation calms down after several minutes of relentless arguments over who gets to keep the pillow on weekends.

“All I’m saying is if we have to split this pillow between us, I want christmas morning and I’ll sacrifice new years eve.” Laura says in her best conflict resolving voice, which, Laura would admit isn’t great.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night… but I’m taking care of the birthday party.” Carmilla drawls as she lets herself slowly fall back into her sleep.


	10. Kiss Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> my favorite chapter to write. want to listen to the song this chapter is based on? ---> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTLnlkrCK8c

After the two girls spent the afternoon sleeping, they both woke up in the middle of the night. 

“Good morning” Carmilla says, rubbing her eyes.

“It’s four am.” Laura replies, sitting up.

“Should we go back to bed?” Carmilla asks.

“I have a better idea.” Laura says. She stands up, grabs her small backpack, and walks to her window, opening it and beginning to step out. “Coming?”

Carmilla quickly pulls on her Converse and follows Laura to her window sill. “I didn’t expect you to be the type to sneak out. Especially in your short shorts.”

“It’s not sneaking out, it’s just,” Laura thinks over her words, “stealthily leaving. Also I have very warm legs.”

“Uh huh.” Carmilla replies, pulling her legs over the sill and pushing herself onto the ground outside. She’s grateful that Laura’s bedroom is on the first floor of the house, making the maneuver much easier. “Where are we going at four am exactly?”

“Well, let me show you something.” Laura pulls off her backpack, places it on the ground, and opens it. She pulls out a piece of paper that looks like it’s been folded and unfolded hundreds of times. She gives it to Carmilla to open.

When Carmilla opens the paper, she finds a map of the town, with small drawings sporadically placed around it. “Laura, where did this come from?” Carmilla asks.

“It’s my dad’s. He and my mom made it, and they drew drawings to help them locate their favorite places to go. Laura points to a small drawing of a cat in red pen. “That’s an animal shelter my mom volunteered at. It’s a pizza place now.” Laura points at a drawing of a moon. “That’s where we’re going.”

“To the moon?” Carmilla asks.

“To a tree house.” Laura replies. “You’ll understand soon enough.”

\---

Laura and Carmilla walked for miles, through side streets and run down backyards, and finally found their destination. An old looking tree house, with chipped red paint and a small window. Hanging from a branch is a tire. 

“Whose yard is this?” Carmilla asks, warily watching Laura climb the ladder to the top of the treehouse.

“I don’t know,” Laura says as she pauses on the ladder. “This house has been abandoned since my dad was a teenager.” Laura continues climbing and pulls herself into the tree house and waits for Carmilla to meet her at the top.

The ladder to the top of the tree is made up of several small wooden rectangles nailed to the tree. They look sturdy enough, but Carmilla still hesitates to climb up.

“You’ll be okay, Carm. I’m here.” Laura says from the top.

Carmilla climbs up, and finally makes it inside. “Whoever decorated this place must not have had an eye for aesthetics.” Carmilla says, noting how empty the room was. A dusty chair, something under a tarp, and some comic books are the only things inside.

Laura stands up and walks over to the thing under the tarp. “I think if you give it a chance you’ll love it as much as I do.” Laura pulls the tarp away, revealing a telescope. “This is why the drawing was a moon. Come here.” 

Carmilla rushes over to the telescope and looks through it. “Mother has a telescope but none of us ever bothered to use it. I don’t think she even touched it after she bought it.” Carmilla pauses. “How do I find the moon?”

Carmilla stands back as Laura looks over the telescope. “Lens cap.” Laura removes the lens cap and guides the telescope to the direction of the moon, and focuses the lens. After she seemed satisfied with her work, she stood back and let Carmilla look through it.

“So that’s her, the moon. She’s lovely.” Carmilla says. “I’ve never seen her so close.”

“My mom thought the moon was a woman too.” Laura says. “You remind me of her more and more every day.” 

“Thank you for taking me here, even if the walk was awful.” Carmilla says, stepping closer to Laura. “You remind me of my dad. He loved adventure, and storytelling. He was like the polar opposite of my mother.”

“My mom was my dad’s polar opposite too. She loved learning new things about the world and the universe, and my dad’s too scared to leave this town. I think they leveled each other out. He was her conscience and she was his impulsivity.”

“That’s a one of a kind relationship. I wish you would have been able to be with her more. I know I wish nearly every day to hear my dad’s voice for even one more second.”

“I do wish she were still here. I think of her all the time. Her hands were so soft, just like yours.” Laura takes Carmilla’s hand and places it on her cheek. Laura leans into Carmilla’s hand and closes her hand. “You have the same touch.” The two linger in this position a moment longer, Laura imagining her mother’s smooth palm on her cheek.” Laura opens her eyes and pulls Carmilla into a hug. “Thank you for being here with me Carmilla.”

“Thank you for trusting me with your secret place.” Carmilla says. Laura pulls her face towards Carmilla’s ear and whispers, “Race me!” as she bolts down the treehouse, jumping down the last three rungs of the ladder. Carmilla, in hot yet cautious pursuit, jumps down the last two rungs of the ladder and meets Laura at the tire swing. Laura has already stuffed herself into the small hole of the tire, and smiles a big smile at Carmilla.

“I don’t trust that smile, it’s too cute. What do you want from me?”

“Push me.” Laura says, hugging the outside of the tire she’s sitting in.

“Of course, sweetheart.” Carmilla pulls the tire as far back as it can go, and releases Laura with a push. 

\---

After several minutes of Laura swinging and Carmilla pretending to push her, Carmilla decides she wants to ride as well. When Laura’s tire makes it’s way to Carmilla, Carmilla grabs it, bringing it to a stop. She climbs on top of it and straddles the rope, similar to riding on someone’s shoulders, only more uncomfortable and probably more dangerous. Carmilla realizes just how close she is to Laura now that she’s stable. She grabs the rope and pulls herself up so she’s standing, and starts swinging the tire with her feet. 

“Carmilla I swear if this rope snaps and you break your neck I’ll kill you.” Laura laughs.

“How’re you going to kill me if I’m already dead? Check and mate, Hollis,” Carmilla laughs back, hopping off the moving tire with a thud, and stopping it in front of her. Suddenly Carmilla finds Laura’s face inches in front of her own. She finds it hard to breathe. They’ve kissed before, but their first kiss was initiated by Laura. She knew Laura wanted it because she was the one who made it happen. Carmilla thinks about their conversation, how Laura’s parents evened each other out. Impulsivity and caution. Oh, fuck it.

Before Laura can break the tension between her and Carmilla, she feels tender hands on both of her cheeks bringing her into a slow kiss. Last time it was rushed and emotional. This time, they have all the time in the world, and they have no qualms with taking their time. Laura remembers that she’s sitting in a tire swing only when Carmilla’s grip on her face moves towards her hair and she feels herself on the swing moving closer to Carmilla. Laura breaks the kiss with a smile and quickly pulls herself out of the swing. 

“Laura your legs, oh my god.” Carmilla says.

“What do you mean, ‘your legs’ what’s wrong with my legs?” Laura says, attempting to look at the back of her legs and failing.

“The tire swing left dents.” Carmilla rubs the back of Laura’s legs to see if it makes them better. It doesn’t, but Laura appreciates it anyway.

Laura grabs Carmilla’s hand and pulls her away from the tree house, over a bent chain link style fence, into a field of bearded barley. Carmilla looks at Laura’s legs again. “This will definitely make your legs itch.”

“You worry too much. Let them itch. I have one last thing to show you. The real reason I brought you here.” Laura leads Carmilla farther into the field, and they find a small patch of grass, much greener and shorter than the barley surrounding it. “Dance with me.”

Carmilla leads Laura onto the moonlit floor, and they dance, a lazy waltz, under the milky twilight. “Kiss me.” Carmilla whispers to Laura. A distant sound, the moon’s hummed serenade, buzzes in both of their ears. That’s their song. They’ll never grow tired of hearing it.

Hoping not to drown out the sound, Carmilla whispers close to Laura. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Carmilla.”

\-----

After dancing for what feels like hours, the two girls sit down in the patch of grass. Carmilla kisses Laura. Her hand finds Laura’s hip and after some shuffling Carmilla ends up on top of her. And then below her. The two girl’s soft legs intertwine as the kissing grows sloppier. Laura’s inexperience shows when she goes to bite Carmilla’s lip and ends up biting her own tongue. The two girls part with a final peck and make their way home, hand in hand.


	11. Sister Spycraft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet Mattie!

Carmilla wakes up alone in her own bed. All she wants to do is surround herself in her comforter and remember everything that happened last night. She told Laura she loves her. Laura loves her too. Her heart spikes and her neck feels warm when she thinks of how much she loves Laura. 

About five minutes into her trip to memory lane, her blanket is tugged off of her, flooding her face with light. Standing over her besis Mattie.

“Mattie, why are you waking me up so early?” Carmilla whines.

“It’s noon. Now get up, I’m only here for a short amount of time and I want to spend some time together like we used to. Let’s paint the town red, for old time’s sake.” Mattie says, pulling Carmilla’s feet until she falls to the floor. Carmilla groans face down in response.

\-----

Mattie’s car is exactly like it was last time Carmilla was in it. The front is clean and polished, but the back seat is full of binders, notebooks, and stray papers. The life of a college student, Carmilla guesses.

“So I was thinking we would go to the coffee place, what’s it called again?” Mattie pauses a moment.

“The Hub.” Carmilla answers.

“Right, The Hub. And we can catch up. Sound like something you’d like to do, Muffin?” Mattie asks.

“Yeah, let’s do it.” Carmilla replies, leaning forward to smell the small clip-on air freshener that is attached to Mattie’s air conditioner vent. It smells like honey.

\----

Carmilla has been going to this coffee shop regularly since Mattie first introduced it to her when she was around fourteen. The menu is so vast that she’s yet to memorize most of the items on it. She’s ordered a mocha latte every single time she’s come, and hasn’t tried anything new. She decides today is the day that she orders the vastly different white chocolate mocha latte. 

“White chocolate? Special occasion?” Mattie smiles to herself.

“Why not try something new?” Carmilla says, before making her way to the center of the shop. Past the simple two-person dining tables is Carmilla’s favorite place to sit. An old leather chair next to a window with a perfect view of the outside. 

Before Mattie left for business, she and Carmilla would sit here and talk for hours about whatever came to mind. Eventually all that was left was the memory of what once was. With her coffee and her sister, things felt familiar, and Carmilla wanted to sit and enjoy this moment for as long as she could.

“Tell me about what’s new. Any girls in your life?” Mattie asks, placing her coffee down on the table next to her spot on the sofa.

Carmilla smiles into her coffee. 

“I take that as a yes. Spill. If I don’t get details right now I will truly and honestly disintegrate and fly away like dust on an old book.”

“It’s... Laura Hollis. Do you remember her?” Carmilla asks, picking at a frayed hole in the knee of her pants.

“The journalist one? Sure she’s cute, but don’t you want a girl with depth beyond that of an old shoe?” Mattie says.

“That’s what I thought at first. But she grew on me. If you gave her a chance I know you’d end up loving her as much as I do.” Carmilla replies. “She’s got this fire in her that you can’t help but admire.”

Mattie considers Carmilla’s words for a moment. A sip of her coffee and a soft placement of her cup on the table later and she opens her mouth. “I want to meet her.”

Carmilla begins to speak when Mattie interrupts. “I’ll keep an open mind. Grab your coffee and we can split.”

“Okay, there’s one more thing I need to do. I’ll meet you in the car.” Carmilla says.

Mattie nods and waits in her car for Carmilla to return. 

Five minutes later Carmilla walks out of The Hub with a small white bag and two to-go coffee cups in her hands. 

\----

Laura’s French homework is interrupted by a knock on the door. “It’s open!” She yells from the couch. Immediately she kicks herself for possibly inviting robbers into her home. Or worse, accidentally giving some blood sucking vampires permission to come inside. As she watches her front door open, expecting giant fangs or ski masks, she’s delightfully surprised to see Carmilla. 

“Hey Carm. What are you doing here?” Laura asks, putting away her homework.

“My sister wanted to meet you.” Carmilla says, punctuated by Mattie entering the house and closing the door behind her. “This is Matska, she was a senior when we were sophomores.”

“Laura, I’ve heard a lot about you. My sister cares about you deeply, and I expect you to take that very seriously.” Mattie says. “I expected us to have a nice evening full of coffee and sister time, but this feels more pertinent.” 

Carmilla walks over to Laura and sits next to her, leaving room beside her for Mattie. “I bought you a mocha latte, I hope that’s good. I’ve never been to The Hub with you so I don’t know your order.” 

“This actually is my order. Thank you.” Laura says.

“I also bought you a brownie.” Carmilla says. She gives Laura the white bag.

“You’re the sweetest. I love you. Thank you.” Laura says.

“I love you too.” Carmilla replies.

“This is sickening.” Mattie says, still standing across the room.

Carmilla pats the seat next to her and Mattie reluctantly makes her way over. Laura’s living room must be a culture shock for Mattie. Coming from a wealthier family, comfortable homes are always something to get used to when it comes to Mattie.

When Mattie is finally present in the conversation, she looks at Carmilla. “I forgot to ask. How does mother feel about you two?”

Laura and Carmilla both sigh. Laura looks at Mattie. “She’s not a fan of me. One of the members of the newspaper staff started some rumors about people and i ended up taking the heat for it. I had to choose between Carm or Journalism.”

“I told her I never wanted to get in the way of her future. We decided she didn’t need to give up either one as long as we’re secretive.” Carmilla says.

Mattie looks at the ground for a moment. “I won’t tell mother. What happened after you got in trouble?”

Laura thinks about Danny. “The victim moved away. It’s just not fair. Everything got ripped away from me. One of my best friends quit the paper, and another one of my best friends moved away. I got caught in the middle of it all.” Laura picks at her nail. “I’m not failing French anymore though. Carmilla motivated me to read my book and that’s really all I needed.”

“The tutor sessions weren’t exactly productive.” Carmilla says.

“Maybe not productive for my French grade, but I’m happy about the progress we made otherwise. Without our tutor sessions we wouldn’t have gotten as close as we have.”

“And I wouldn’t have realized how much I like running away with you. I like to think we make each other better.” Carmilla says. In response, Laura takes Carmilla’s hand in her own with a small smile.

“I like to think this is all too gooey for me.” Mattie says.

“You’re no fun.” Carmilla says.

\-------

Many hours and many laughs with Laura later, Carmilla and Mattie come home and pass out on Carmilla’s bed. Just like old times, Carmilla thinks. She’s grateful to have her sister home again. She looks over at Mattie, her eyes closed, and stage-whispers, “Are you awake?”

“No.” Mattie replies.

“Do you like Laura?” Carmilla asks.

“I do. I see why you’re so fond of her. She’s very…” Mattie pauses.

“Quirky?” Carmilla asks.

“Sure.” Mattie says. “Let’s go with that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my tumblr? its @l5j :)


	12. Not Afraid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what a happy day!

It’s getting colder as the season moves into winter. Frosted leaves colored warm by the fall float from the chilled trees and for once, Carmilla wakes up optimistic. It’s been three weeks since Mattie and Laura first met, and they’re getting along better than Carmilla could have ever hoped for. 

As she walks into the kitchen, Carmilla thanks the god she isn’t sure she believes in that she survived her way to fall break, waking up at noon is taken for granted. Mattie is cooking breakfast in the kitchen, listening to an old jazz record on the record player.

“Good morning sunshine.” Mattie says.

“What are you making?” Carmilla asks, holding her head up with her hand. The marble counter is hard on her elbow.

“Bacon. I could never force myself to eat this mess. You like it though.” Mattie replies.

“I do.” Carmilla says.

“Are you going to see Laura today? It’s been a few moons since you last fawned over one another, I’m surprised you aren’t experiencing withdrawals.” Mattie says.

Carmilla laughs and bites the pinky nail on her free hand. “I’m meeting her dad today.”  
“You haven’t met him yet?” Mattie asks, mouth agape. “It’s been months! You spend the night there all the time!”

“I know! I know. I’ve never really sat down to talk to him, me and Laura just hide in her room. He’s just protective and I’m afraid he’ll think I’m a bad influence.” Carmilla says.

“You? A bad influence? Sure you dress like a broody vampire but you have a big heart. Just be true to yourself. Also give him a present or something.” Mattie says, sliding a plate over to Carmilla. “I also made eggs and a little fruit salad if you’re interested. Help yourself and good luck today.”

“Thanks, Mom.” Carmilla says.

“Shut up.” Mattie says, eating a raspberry. “Or I’ll ground you.”

\----

Carmilla has been to Laura’s house before. The door is familiar. The cracked concrete pathway to her door doesn’t look any more dilapidated than usual. And yet, Carmilla’s stomach is screaming at her, telling her to turn back before she gets swallowed by the ground beneath her. However, she persists. Behind her back is a small white bag that she’s attempting to not drop.

After knocking on the door, Carmilla notices the blinds adjacent to her splitting enough to reveal an eye and two thick fingers. Sherman Hollis, as wary of visitors as ever. After an intense staredown, the blinds close and the door opens. 

“Carmilla! I’ve heard a lot about you. Well, actually I haven’t. That was a lie. Laura keeps your relationship private. I do know you showed her how that record player works, even I couldn’t figure it out.”

“Mr. Hollis, I brought you a candle.” Carmilla hands him the small white bag that she was holding. “I mean a present. You’ll have to open it to know what I got you.”

Sherman nods and opens the bag. “A candle! What a surprise! Thank you Carmilla. Now I feel awkward since I didn’t get you anything.” 

This makes Carmilla smile and Sherman takes that as an opportunity to make Carmilla more comfortable.  
“Come in, it’s cold out.” Sherman waits for Carmilla to walk into the house, and he closes the door behind her. “Laura! Carmilla is here!” He yells into the rest of the house.

Carmilla hears quick footsteps running towards the living room. Laura emerges from the hallway and runs to give Carmilla a hug. 

Laura takes Carmilla’s hand in hers. Carmilla hopes she doesn’t notice how sweaty it is. Laura makes a face at Carmilla. She noticed.

“Are you two girls hungry? We can go get lunch.” Sherman says, grabbing his jacket from the armrest of the sofa.

Carmilla isn’t hungry but she doesn’t mind eating again.

Laura grabs her sweater and whips past Carmilla. “Race you!” 

Carmilla runs out the door after her, almost slipping on the cold ground beneath her. She sees that Laura is halfway across the lawn, running towards her dad’s truck. Carmilla pushes her legs to go as fast as possible, and passes Laura. 

“I win.” Carmilla smirks.

“Wipe that smirk off your face or I’ll wipe it off for you.” Laura says, running her thumb over Carmilla’s lips.

“You’ll have to wipe it off for me then.” Carmilla says.

Laura rolls her eyes and kisses Carmilla. Laura’s warm breath floods Carmilla’s face, reminding her of how cold it is already. Laura’s nose is like a flame against her own, and her neck heats up, partially due to the kiss and partially due to the hands sneaking into her hair.

Sherman makes his way into the truck past the two girls. They don’t notice that he’s there until he turns the truck on and the engine’s purr wakes them both up from their trance. A blush runs up Laura’s neck as she gets into the passenger seat. Carmilla gets in the back without a word and the sound of the radio fills the comfortable silence between the group.

\----

As they open the door to The Hub the heat floods Carmilla’s face, and Carmilla rubs her frozen cheeks with her hands. Sherman seats the girls at one of the tables close to a window and he looks over the menu. It’s clearly foreign to him, as he peruses the brunch menu full of organic wraps and soups, hoping to find a familiar face in such an eccentric crowd. “I’m getting a BLT,” he says. “What do you guys want?”

“I want a BLT too.” Laura says.

“I guess we all want BLTs.” Carmilla adds in. 

“You picked a good one.” Sherman says to Laura.

Carmilla smiles. The small smile that Laura hasn’t seen in so long. Laura puts her hand on Carmilla’s thigh. Gentle. Carmilla returns the gesture.

Carmilla looks at Laura’s face for any sign of discomfort but she seems unphased. She feels the hand on her own thigh snake farther up. Memories of their adventure to the treehouse flood Carmilla’s mind, making her blush. A shout from the counter tells them their BLTs are ready. 

Sherman leaves to get them, and Laura’s grip on Carmilla’s thigh turns into soft fingers dancing lightly over the surface of her jeans. Carmilla removes her hand from Laura’s thigh to move a hair out of Laura’s face. Her hand cups Laura’s face and she kisses her, not worried about the looks they may be getting from other people in the cafe. It’s 1997, people shouldn’t be so worried about other people’s love anymore, Carmilla thinks. 

Sherman comes back and the three dig into their lunches. “So Carmilla, you’re a junior like Laura?”

“I am.” Carmilla replies through the best bite of a BLT she’s ever taken.

“So next year you graduate. Do you and Laura know if you’re going to go to college close to each other?”

“I haven’t really thought about where I’m going to college.” Carmilla says.

“If I can get a scholarship I’ll consider going somewhere out of state, like California or New York.” Laura says.

“New York is where the theatre geeks and writers always want to go. You’d fit in nicely.” Carmilla says.

“What do you want to do when you get out of school Carmilla?” Sherman asks.

“I just want to be happy. I like making art. I like skating. I don’t think any of those are solid career choices.” Carmilla says into her sandwich.

“You’d make a good therapist.” Laura says. “You seem to always know what to say. You’re the smartest person I know, even if you don’t show it a lot, broody aloof personality and all.”

“A therapist? I never thought of that. Maybe I could do that. I do have a 4.0 gpa so colleges should like me.” Carmilla says.

“Wait you have a 4.0 gpa?” Laura asks.

“Have you met my mother? She would never let me do less than my best. A blessing and a curse.” Carmilla replies. “Good grades, no sleep.”

“I can’t believe I didn’t know that.” Laura says.

“It never came up.” Carmilla replies. “Want a coffee? I’ll pay.”

Sherman pipes up. “No. Let me pay. I want something with caramel in it.” 

“Mocha lattes for us both.” Laura says to her dad.

\------

Sherman has to go to work and decides to drive Carmilla home. Carmilla protests, saying she can walk if it’s a hassle but to no avail. After driving out of town, down winding country roads and past huge expanses of trees, they find themselves parked at the top of a hill. In front of the truck is Carmilla’s home. Laura has never seen it before, and she stares in awe at how big it is.

“Your house is awesome.” Laura says. “Totally awesome.”

“It is pretty awesome.” Sherman adds. “Is that your mother’s lincoln?” 

“Oh shit. She’s home.” Carmilla says. “Sorry. Oh crap. She’s home. Phil’s car is here too. Awesome.”

“Dad we need to leave immediately. See you later Carm.” Laura curls into a ball in her seat. “Don’t let her see our faces.”

“What? Who is Phil? Why can’t they see our faces?”

“Carmilla’s mother may have told us never to see each other again and Phil, her abusive homophobic boyfriend, will try to break us up if they know we’re girlfriends.”

Carmilla starts to leave the truck when the door to her house opens, revealing an obviously drunk Phil being tossed out by Mattie. Carmilla pauses, her hand stuck to the handle.

Phil begins walking towards his car and Mattie turns around to start yelling at her mother, who is standing at the door frame with her eyebrows raised in defense.

Through the window of the truck, Carmilla can hear Mattie yell, “Never let him around here again! If I see him even a mile away from this house I’ll never come back!”

Phil’s car pulls out of the driveway and unsteadily shoots down the hill. Carmilla feels a pang of worry in her chest as he drunkenly speeds out of sight. Once he’s definitely gone, Mattie makes her way to her car. 

Carmilla jets out of the truck towards Mattie. “Mattie! What happened?”

“Phil got drunk. He slapped Mother and grabbed my throat when I didn’t let him touch my ass. Little did he know, I powerlift on the weekends.” Mattie flexes her hands, urging the muscles in her forearms to do the same. “I think Mother is finally done with him.”

“Finally. Is she okay?” Carmilla asks.

“As okay as I’ll ever be.” Lilita says. “Whose truck is that over there?”

“Laura Hollis’ dad.” Carmilla replies. What comes next is a moment of silence as Carmilla’s mother thinks.

“Tell her goodbye. Tell her father I say thank you for bringing you home safely. Then we need to talk.”

\-------

Carmilla’s mother tightens her cardigan around herself. Her cheek is red and her eyes are swollen from holding in her tears. Mattie stirs a teaspoon of sugar into her coffee, the sound of the swirling spoon in her mug is the only sound that fills the room. 

“Laura and you. You’re together often?” Carmilla’s mother asks. Her voice is much softer than usual. 

“We’re dating. I see her as often as possible.” Carmilla says, uncertain about whether or not to maintain eye contact with her vulnerable mother, choosing instead to focus on the way her cardigan doesn’t fit her as well as it did a few months ago when she bought it. Carmilla looks at how her mother’s bracelets loosely hang from her thin wrists. Her eyes, dark circles, are looking Carmilla over as well.

“You’re a beautiful young woman, Carmilla. Does Laura tell you that?” Carmilla’s mother asks.

“She tells me all the time. She loves me.” Carmilla says.

“Don’t settle for anyone who doesn’t think you’re beautiful the way you are. If she makes you happy and she loves you I won’t do anything to hinder that. I never should have banned her from seeing you, even if you didn’t listen to me anyway.” A pointed look reminds Carmilla that she is still definitely talking to her mother. After a moment, her mother adds, “Phil isn’t coming back. It’s for the best. You’re probably happy about that, which I understand, but I did love him. He wasn’t always bad… he made me happy.” Lilita takes a shaky breath and steels herself. “Have a good rest of your night Carmilla. Mattie and I have a meeting in an hour with the school board.”

“Mother are you well enough to go to a meeting?” Mattie asks.

“It doesn’t matter. This one is important. Vordenberg is going to be there.” Lilita replies.

“Of course. Let’s get some coffee in your system and we can go over our notes.” Mattie says.

Carmilla drags herself to her room and falls onto her bed. Phil leaving relieved the pent up stress that Carmilla didn’t even realize she was holding in. Nothing can shake this happy haze that she’s in.


	13. Life Goes On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jump 13 years to 2010. Toto.. we aren't in 1997 anymore!

Winter has been Carmilla’s favorite season for the last thirteen years. Winters are different now than in 1997, and she always misses the simplicity of her teenage years. All of the drama then seems so distant now. She wishes she had been born later, into a more accepting society like she lives in now. 

 

An alarm clock goes off and Carmilla realizes she woke up earlier than she had to. Carmilla thinks,  _ Must be the excitement. First snow of the year.  _

 

Laura groans at the sound as she wakes up. Carmilla watches her as she stretches, revealing her honey colored stomach. Carmilla throws a lazy arm around Laura’s waist, pulling herself closer to her. 

 

“I can always count on you to cuddle me like a kitten in the morning.” Laura says, running her fingers through Carmilla’s hair.

 

“I’m thirty, I think I’ve outgrown the kitten label.” Carmilla says, her voice tired.

 

Laura hums in thought. “You’re thirty.”

 

“Don’t you catch on fast” Carmilla says.

 

“And I’m thirty.” Laura softly pulls Carmilla’s ear. “We fell in love when we were seventeen.”

 

Carmilla pulls herself up to face Laura. They’re both sitting criss-cross. Their knees are touching. Carmilla’s hands trail lightly over Laura’s thighs. “If only I could go back to the 90s. Meet you in middle school all over again and love you sooner.” 

 

“I get why you didn’t like me in middle school. Nobody was fun to be around when they were thirteen. Don’t beat yourself up over a few extra years, okay? We’ve been together for thirteen amazing years.”

 

“Twelve winters.” Carmilla adds.

 

“I hate being cold.” Laura shivers at the thought, even though she’s warmed by her comforter and Carmilla’s hands on her thighs. “You love it though. Winter suits you. My cold-blooded vampire.” Laura takes one of Carmilla’s hands in both of her own and rubs them. Her hands don’t warm up. Carmilla appreciates the effort anyway.

 

“You love summer.” Carmilla says. She pauses a moment. “Weird thought, bear with me. Remember the Summer Society? I haven’t thought of that in years.” 

 

“And Danny. How do you think she is now?” Laura asks. She reaches for her phone. “I’m sure she’s on Facebook. I can’t believe I’ve never thought of this.” 

 

“Thirteen years, babe. Life goes on.” Carmilla says.

 

“Life goes on. Look at this.” Laura turns her phone to show the screen to Carmilla. “Danny Lawrence.” 

 

“That’s our girl. Send her a message?” Carmilla asks. 

 

Laura takes a deep breath and starts typing. And typing. And erasing. And typing. After a moment, she presses send. 

 

“If after all that work you sent the word, ‘hey.’ I’ll disintegrate.” Carmilla says.

 

“I just sent her a friend request and asked if she remembered us.” Laura says. “While we wait, let’s get some coffee started.”

 

“And some breakfast.” Carmilla adds.

 

\---

 

An agonizing seventeen minutes pass as Laura paces around the kitchen. Her laptop sits open on the counter facing her. A tepid cup of coffee is waiting for her to finish it before it gets cold.

 

A dinging sound causes Laura to rip herself from her thoughts and she runs to her laptop. A message. 

 

Danny Lawrence: Of course I remember you. Still in Silas?

 

Laura Hollis: Surprisingly I managed to leave the city limits within the 13 years we’ve been apart.

 

Danny Lawrence: That really IS a surprise. Sherman isn’t keeping you locked in your ivory tower until you’re 65?

 

Laura Hollis: My princess charming defeated a few dragons to save me and moved me a town over. Dad calls twice a day still, LOL.

 

Danny Lawrence: What were we talking about again?

 

Danny Lawrence: OH right. So you’re still close to Silas?

 

Laura Hollis: About 25 minutes away. 15 minutes if Carmilla’s driving.

 

Danny Lawrence: Still with Carmilla? 13 years Hollis!

 

Laura Hollis: :^)

 

Danny Lawrence: I’m with someone too. May surprise you. Double date?

 

Laura Hollis: Double date! It’s high school all over again! Let me give you my number!

 

\----------

 

Walking into The Hub after nearly a decade of absence reminds Laura of how old she is. Electronic card readers, top 40s pop music playing on the surround sound, and teenagers who dress the way her girlfriend did in the 90s typing away on laptops are going to take her some getting used to, she thinks. 

 

All that aside, she can’t believe she let herself stray. To think that thirteen years ago Carmilla introduced her to this place, and in turn introduced Laura’s father to his favorite ‘BLT joint’, as he says. Even in all of the unfamiliarity, she finds pieces of what she remembers. She walks towards the couch that’s quite literally on its last leg. Laura sits on the left side, and Carmilla to her right. They realize that due to the couch’s lack of stability, it’s tilted at an angle that will pull whoever sits on the right to the left, essentially forcing Carmilla into Laura’s lap. They laugh. 

 

“Damnit gravity! Always a buzz kill!” Carmilla says. “What’ll you have?”

 

“The usual.” Laura replies.

 

With two mocha lattes in hand Carmilla carefully replaces herself in her previous position, awkward as it was, it feels natural to sit on this couch with Laura. 

 

“I’m in love with you.” Laura says, taking a cup from Carmilla.

 

“Thank god, I was really doubting myself for a second there.” Carmilla says with a smirk. “I’m deeply in love with you.”

 

“Isn’t it great to be able to say that? In the open?” Laura asks. She brings her coffee to her face. It’s comfortable.

 

“Did The Hub take you all the way back to the bad parts of high school?” Carmilla replies. “I thought it was bringing back some happy nostalgia.”

 

“It’s taking me back to high school in general. Good and bad. Remember when you went to hold my hand at graduation and I flinched away? And now look at us.” Laura places her coffee down and takes both of Carmilla’s hands in her own. “Marriage equality would be awesome.” She says. “Nevertheless, I feel so much safer in the world with you.”

 

The door opens and lets in a cool breeze as Danny enters. She’s just as tall as Laura remembers. With her is a girl that she can’t place a name onto. Carmilla recognises Elsie immediately. They nod at each other. It’s not awkward. Eye contact is broken immediately.

 

“Elsie.” Carmilla says to Laura. In response Laura makes an ‘Oh’ face. She remembers her now.

 

Elsie and Danny sit across from Laura and Carmilla on two new leather chairs. 

 

“Good to see you.” Laura and Danny say at the same time. It’s not awkward.

 

\--------

 

“That was awkward.” Laura says, collapsing onto her couch. Home smells different now that they’ve spent so much time around coffee beans and hipsters.

 

“Definitely awkward. She seems happy.” Carmilla says.

 

“She does.” Laura says. “I can’t believe she’s training for the olympics.”

 

“I can’t believe Elsie is in the middle of writing a novel.” Carmilla replies.

 

“I can’t believe I’m thirty years old and I’m tired at four p.m.” Laura says.

 

Carmilla lifts Laura bridal style off of the couch and carries her to their bed. After tucking her in, Carmilla goes to the living room and watches TV until Laura wakes up from her nap, after which they will make dinner and watch food network until they fall asleep. 

 

\-------

 

Carmilla and Laura wake up at four AM to the sound of a jackhammer. A house is being built across from them.  _ Awesome _ , Carmilla thinks.

 

Laura pulls the covers up to her face, exposing her feet from underneath the thick blanket. Laura groans from under the covers.  _ it could also be a feral cat from the sound of it _ , Carmilla thinks.

 

“Laura.” Carmilla says. She’s staring at Laura’s toes that are still not under the covers. “Will you marry me?”

 

“Will it make the jackhammer stop?” Laura asks.

 

“No.” Carmilla says.

 

“Will it make you happy?” Laura asks.

 

“Almost as happy as you’ll be when the jackhammer stops.” Carmilla replies.

 

“Then yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @l5j on tumblr~~~


	14. writers notes- many months later!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New Years 2017. Chapter 13 was meant to be the end but I felt like it needed more. Short and sweet reunion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading this. this was the longest fic I've ever written and it means a lot to me. :D

Carmilla and Laura are drinking wine, surrounded by their friends as the ball drops on New Years Eve. "Thank god 2017 is over." Laura sighs. 

"Wasn't that bad, was it?" Carmilla asks, wrapping her arm around Laura. 

"I'd be singing a different tune if the threat of nuclear warfare wasn't so imminent." Laura says into her glass.

"Uh huh. Say that louder so Will can hear about his impending doom." Carmilla says, pointing to the toddler fast asleep on the couch. Camilla figures it was too much excitement for one night and made him sleepy.

"Sorry. Sorry." Laura says. "It hasn't been so bad." She looks at Will. "Adopting him was a great decision." She leans close to Carmilla's ear. "So was naming him after your brother. I know that means a lot to you."

"There's a lot of cheese in this room and I'm not talking about the fancy cheese platter on the table." Carmilla says. Her wife's eye roll doesn't affect her. "I love you." She says.

"I love you, too."

Lafontaine and Perry draw the couple's attention to the TV. 

"Ten! Nine! Eight!" The two begin counting with the numbers on the screen.

Danny and Elsie join in, deciding the TV was more interesting than the cheese platter that is now in Danny's lap.

Carmilla and Laura lean in close as the group hits 'ONE!' and meet with a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> check out my tumblr @l5j :^)  
> leave a comment!


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